Thats the big question that all questioning youth are going through.
I finally know Iam not alone in this world. this be question is hard,scary, and a nightmare to some.
Why let it be those things we can be whatever we want to be?Teens all around the world are asking themselves the same question Iam to myself WHO IAM I and WHAT IAM I ?
but why do i let these things stress me out Iam only seventeen a have plenty of time to anwser those questions.....
NO kid should wonder about weither being gay or bi or transgender will outcast them... it should matter who we love or what we love as long as were happy. and another thing why put labels on them why should we have to tell people were this way or that way...
lets us love whoever we want to love without prejustice or hate... like in the civil rights time it was ashamed upon to date someone who had a different skin color than you...
why there is nothing wwrong with that but in that time period there was alot of prejutice and igonarce... so why should it bet differnt know the lgbt community derserves to be treated like any other human and it shouldnt mateer whowe love..
sure many are scared of us but why its because they dont understand us .. instead of making judgements and assumptions learn the facts before you hate..
and stop all this religious preaching about how god hates gays .. god doesnt hate anyone in fact he loves all his childern if this relgious people say they know the bible go back to the beigning were it stats god loves all his childern.. and if you can prove it other wise show me the preove...
look being in this situation as a teenager is hard let me tell you all the questions running through your mind daliy the stress of it all
then anger at yourself cause you have no idea WHO YOU ARE ANYMONE? its ok dont worry it will all sort out. like h i have learned through expernices and my threapist there isnt a magic anwser someone can give you during this time.. you have to stop and take a look at yourself and think ..
this will take time you cannot find these anwsers in a day or two it takes longer. Talk to someone you trust about what your thinking whats going on.. It makes it easier trust me..
as i sit here thinking about all this I know i havent been honest with myself I know right now iam kinda mad and
anger at myself buy why should i be those things .. iam gonna have to learn how to except me for me before anyone else will. and at this time when i turn to God
and try and make sense of all this i remember what someone once said to me you cannot fear what you maybe be or what you are you must love yourself for whatever you are.
so i stop and think on why i might be gay then I have flashbacks of me and him.. gosh do I hate those .. so here it goes this is how it starts...
sixth grade in our special ed classes which I hated by the way.. there was nothing wrong with us just that we had a hard time with reading and math..
so me and him start talking about things we like to do and shorlty were hanging out at each others house and having sleepovers...
this is when it all changes, so I go over to his house one day after school on a friday we hangout swim and later when his dad gets home he teaches me how to ride
a quad which was fun. so me and him take turns riding, so it was my turn again so I get one it and hit the gas full throttle as i approach the horse corllay
I cant get the quad to stop so I crash right into the coral he calls for his dad who comes running over to see if Iam allright Ic cry for a little bit then get back up and he shows me what happend the throttle got stuck he showed me what to do when that happens..
so i get back up and get on the quad a we rode until dark time , so he asked me to sleep over and i said ya later that night when we all sat around the dinner table talking and laughing about how I crash
I was so happy I had a cool friend like him.. so that night we stay up all night talking and watching scary movies like kids do..
so the next mouring we get up anmd his parents made us waffles which i must say are my favorite after that time to go home...
then I kept staying the night.. soone day when Icame up to spend the night we swam for most of the day then he told me since his pool was salt water we had to take a shower that way we dont get sick.. so I was like allright were do Itake a shower at he took me to the bathroom and said in here and then i said were are you taking a shower he said in here..
i didnt question it at the time i thought all boys our age did that so we shower toghter.. well that kept happening and then later he kissed me.. I thought there was nothing weird about that ..
thenwe made out a few times and folled around in the shower and in his bedroom I know what all of you are thinking we didnt even know what sex was yet.. so this went on
for along time then i began to think it was weird but went along with it until freshman year of highschool.. we broke ties as friends and never spomke of it agian until junior yera then we hung out again and that stuff happend again but i put a stop to it cause i knew it wasnt natural
later that year i was question all the events that happened in my mind so I decided to talk with him. And may I say horrible idea he said he didnt know why it happend and he wasnt gay on the otherhand I had no idea who i was cause the stuff we did toghter I seemed to like..
so as junior year goes on ima wondering and thinking about it and stressing out about it... Then I hit rock bottom listening to emo music about dealth and pain then i began cutting myself
until by bestfriend found out and told me cutting myslef isnt the anwser my group of friends was there to support me to get out of my dark time..
and now to present time Iam still questioning my sexualtiy and letting it stress me out but now iam learning all have friends to support me nomatter what .. that akes alot of my worries disappear. I guess the whole reason iam wrting this is because i know what other teens jusst like me are questioning there sexuality and I want them to know its ok dont stress out about ... just be true to urself and love whom ever..
and if any of them need someone to talk to Iam here ...
Hey my name is Michael Ian a pretty chill guy unless u piss me off that's pretty hard I live in small town named Ramona,ca and I like to listen to music,outdoors activites , i like to work on cars iam here to findsome special Ian looking for a honest,caring ,loving , responsible, sweet and who will sweep me off my feet if u wanna know anything else message me if I really like you I will give u my number. iam here to meet some one so if u like me just hit me dont be shy.I hate femine guys i want a guy tht is masculanite not affraid to get dirty and doesnt worry if his hair is ok . A guy who likes to do stuff outside. A guy whomlikes to play sports . A guy like me . I like fit guys if you have a six pack thts a big plus with me lol :) :)
December 16, 1993
All kinds off music.
Secert life of the American teenager, Kyle xy,vampire daries and a whole alot more lol.
I wanna meet Taylor lunter or as some people know him as Jacob black from Twlight.
hey, I read your article and wow I can relate to it in a few ways. I like the whole don't strees on figuring your self out and seeking answers part it really made sense to me. Lol I'm glad to see I wasn't the only one who has to deal with the special classes lol