(For boys only)HEY BOYZ....CAN I INVITE YOU OVER TO MY HOUSE.....SIT YOU DOWN ON MY COUCH....HAVE A LITTLE CONVO.....POUR SOME GREY GOOSE....AND TAKE YOU TO MY BEDROOM......LAY YOU DOWN ON MY BED.....AND TURN THE LIGHTS OFF ......LIGHT A FEW CANDLES.....TAKE OFF MY CLOTHES.......WALK TO THE DRESSER AND TURN ON SOME MUSIC.....THEN WALK SLOWLY BACK OVER TO THE BED......GET UNDER THE COVER.....AND ASK YOU TO DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO TO GET COMFORTABLE....I SLOWLY CLIMB ON TOP OF YOU AND BEGIN TO KISS YOUR STOMACH....AND WORK MY WAY DOWN.....AND FINALLY I GET ON MY KNEES AND START..... ...............PRAYING FOR THE NEW JORDANS I SAW THE OTHER DAY.... WAT WERE U THINKIN BOUT WEN U WAS READIN DIS....U A FREAK.......AND THAT WHAT I LIKE...LOL
Forward FWD:
There was an atheist couple
who had a child. The couple
never told their daughter
anything about the Lord.
One night when the little
girl was 5 years old, the
parents fought with each other
and the dad shot the Mom, right
in front of the child. Then,
the dad shot himself. The
little girl watched it all.
She then was sent to a foster
home.
The foster mother was a
Christian and took the child
to church. On the first day
of Sunday School, the foster
mother told the teacher that
the girl had never heard of
Jesus, and to have patience
with her.
The teacher held up a
picture of Jesus and said,
"Does anyone know who this
is?" The little girl said,
"I do, that's the man who
shot my fucking uncle in Iraq, bytch!"
Ghetto Test
1. You've ever used an album cover or old envelope for a dustpan. (5 points)
2. You've ever put foil on your TV antennas to get better reception. (8 points)
3. You've ever had to use pliers to turn your TV on. (7points)
4. You had to come in the house when the street lights came on. (6 points)
5. You had a candy lady in your neighborhood. (5 + 5 extra points if your house was the candy lady)
6. If you can count more than five police cars in your neighborhood on a daily basis. (3 points)
7. If you ever had to pick your own switch or belt. (3 points for each)
8. If you've ever been beaten with an extension cord. (15 points)
9. If you have ever had to walk to or home from school. (2 points)
10. If you've ever passed someone a note asking "Do you like me?" or "Can I have a chance?" check _yes, _no or _maybe. (7 points)
11. If you have ever used dish washing liquid for bubble bath. (9points)
12. If you have ever mixed up some Kool-Aid and the found that you didn't have any sugar. (4 points & add 4 if you put the pitcher in the refrigerator until you got some sugar)
13. If you have ever played any of the following games. (2 points each): (hide and go seek, freeze tag, captain or momma may I?, or red light..yellow light..green light 123!)
14. If your neighborhood had an ice cream man. (2 points + 2 if he rang a bell + 5 if he played R&B)
15. If you remember any of the following candies. (1 point each): cherry clans, lemon heads, Alexander the grape, ring pops, Chico sticks, baked beans, candy cigarettes, powder packs with the white dip stick, big league chew, "Wine" Candy (jolly ranchers), jaw breakers, and candy necklaces.
16. If you refer to Now and Laters candies as "Nighladers". (6 points)
17. If you've ever ran from the police on foot. (5 points + 5 if you got away)
18. If you remember underoos or the Wonder Woman bra and panty set. (6 points + 4 if you owned some)
19. If you've ever had reusable grease in a container on your stove. (5 points)
20. The batteries in your remote control are held in by a piece of tape. (5 points)
21. If you've ever used any of the following for drinking glasses. (3 points each): jelly jars, mayonnaise jars, mason jars, or peanut butter jars.
22. You've ever covered your furniture in plastic. (2 points)
23. The heels of your feet have ever looked like you had been kicking flour. (1point)
24. If you have ever worn any of the following fragrances. (1 point each): Brute, Hai Karate, Jean Nate, Old Spice, Chloe, English Leather, Stetson, Charlie, or Faberge'.
25. You've ever used Tussy. (9 points)
26. You've never been to the dentist. (10 points + 10 if you've never been to the doctor.)
27. You've ever wore clothes with the tag still on them. (4 points)
28. If you're acquainted with someone with a name as follows. (3 points): Kay-Kay, Lee-Lee, Ree-Ree, Ray-Ray, etc.
29. You have ever paged yourself for any reason. (3 points)
30. You've ever worn house shoes outside of the house. (2 points)
31. You add "ED" or "T" to the end of words already in the past tense (for example, Tooked, Light-Skinneded, kilt, ruint, etc). (3 points)
32. You pronounce words like this (1 point for each example you can think of skrimps or strimps, skreet, axe (ask), member (remember), frigerator, etc.
33. You use nem' to describe a certain group of people (for example Craig and nem' or momma and nem'). (6 points)
34. You've ever had a crack across your windshield and never bothered to get it fixed. (3 points)
35. You've ever driven on a donut more than 2 weeks after your flat. (4 points)
36. You've ever asked a perfect stranger to take a picture with you and told your friends it was someone you dated. (3 points)
37. Your child drops his/her pacifier and you sanitize it by sucking it. (7 points)
38. If you've ever ran a race barefoot in the middle of the street at approximately 11 at night. (10 points)
39. You've ever left a social gathering with a plate. (1 point)
40. You leave a restaurant with silverware, sugar, and/or jelly. (8 points)
41. You think "red" is a flavor of Kool-Aid. (4 points)
42. You can't hold a glass because of the length of your nails. (3 points)
43. The gold teeth in your mouth spell words. (8 points)
44. You don't have your own place but your child has a leather coat and a pair of Jordan's. (5 points)
45. If you've ever had to get to the driver's side of the car through the passenger side door. (8 points)
46. You have ever slept in a chair to avoid messing up your hair. (7 points)
47. You constantly hit *69 and ask, "Did you just call here?" (10 points)
48. You won't answer the phone if you don't recognize the number on the caller id box. (7 points)
49. You know a child who can't speak, but can do the "bank-head bounce." (15 points)
50. You think Tupac is still alive. (20 points)
Scoring
0 - 30 - You have enjoyed a nice sheltered life in the suburbs.
31 - 60 - Hood movies have given you a little exposure.
61 - 100 - You may have visited the hood a few times or on weekends.
101 - 130 - You probably spent a few years in the hood, and moved to the suburbs.
131 - 160 - You're the genuine article. You are no stranger to hood life.
161 - 200 - You are definitely, without a doubt an expert on life in the hood.
201+ - Congratulations! You are Ghetto Fabulous!
^
>
~DIS BE HERE MII BOO~ I LUV HIM TO DEATH~ ND IF U MESSIN WIT HIM UR MESSIN WIT ME..ND Y'ALL DNT WANA MESS WIT ME OR HIM~ WAHT CAN I SAY BOUT MII BOO~ I KNOE WEN I STARTED 2 TLK 2 HIM I KNOE WE HAD STUFF IN COMMON~ YEA MII BOO IS SPECIAL TO ME~ TE QUIERO... I LUV U TAY~
~MIII CUZZZI GUDDIE EY~
Hey, Dem 30/30 Boyz, Soulja Boy and Arab
We got somthin new for y'all
When somebody be in your face
Just on your nerves, just talkin and talkin
And you just don't wanna hear it
Just be like "Yahhh, Bitch, Yahhh! "
[Chorus:]
(Hey, SoulJa Boy, can I get your autograph?) Yahhh, Bitch, Yahhh!
(Yo, Arab, I really like you, man) Yahhh, Bitch, Yahhh!
(Is Collipark-) Yah, Yah, Bitch, Yah Yahhh!
(Yeah, I was wonderin, can I be on your next-) Yahhh, Yahhh, Bitch!
[Hook:]
Get out my face hoe
Get out my face hoe
Get out my face hoe
Get out my face hoe
Get out my face hoe
Get out my face hoe
Get out my face hoe
Get out my face (Yahhh!)
[Verse 1:]
Let me tell you about the life
And how you live when you is a star
Every single place you go
The people run up to your car
Everybody wants to talk, and everybody wants to jive
Everybody wants a handshake, or want a high five
And these ugly girls always got a friend
That wants to talk to you
(Snitch, Yahhh, Yahhh, Trick)
(And your friend, Yahhh, Yahhh Too!)
Ain't got time for chitchat
I'm tryin to get this money
So get up out my face
You doo doo head dummy
[Chorus:]
(Hey, SoulJa Boy, can I get your autograph?) Yahhh, Bitch, Yahhh!
(Yo, Arab, I really like you, man) Yahhh, Bitch, Yahhh!
(Is Collipark-) Yah, Yah, Bitch, Yah Yahhh!
(Yeah, I was wonderin, can I be on your next-) Yahhh, Yahhh, Bitch!
[Hook:]
Get out my face hoe
Get out my face hoe
Get out my face hoe
Get out my face hoe
Get out my face hoe
Get out my face hoe
Get out my face hoe
Get out my face (Yahhh!)
[Verse 2:]
Dawg, get out my face, I'm startin to get mad
Walkin up
(Soulja Boy, Can I have your autograph?) Trick, Yahhh, Trick!
Leave me alone, let me get some peace
I'm sittin at the house and a shawty can't sleep
Leave me alone folk, before I have to knock your lights out
(Hey Soulja Boy, when that new Stacks on Deck cd coming out?)
Snitch, Yahhh, Trick!
Snitch, Yahhh, Trick!
Snitch, Yahhh, Ya, Yah, Ya, Yahh, Ya, Trick
[Chorus:]
(Hey, SoulJa Boy, can I get your autograph?) Yahhh, Bitch, Yahhh!
(Yo, Arab, I really like you, man) Yahhh, Bitch, Yahhh!
(Is Collipark-) Yah, Yah, Bitch, Yah Yahhh!
(Yeah, I was wonderin, can I be on your next-) Yahhh, Yahhh, Bitch!
[Hook:]
Get out my face hoe
Get out my face hoe
Get out my face hoe
Get out my face hoe
Get out my face hoe
Get out my face hoe
Get out my face hoe
Get out my face (Yahhh!)
[Talking:]
Hey Soulja Boy I Love Those Sneakers Man
Me and my brother, man we diggin ya man (super dig)
I mean, I'm the king of your fan club man
I mean, I just ya one day and I was like "that guy, he's gonna make it"
(he's gonna make it, I already know)
I was on your myspace man-
(Yahhh Trick, Ya Yahh, Ya Yah Yah, Ya Yah)
[Laughing]
(Yah [Laughing] Yahhhh, Bitch)
(Shut up!)
(Yahhhh, don't you get it?)
[With Beat
(Yah)
(Ah)
(Ah)
(Yahhh)
[Laughter]
Y-A-A-H-H-H
L~ LOUD BYTCHES
O~ ODD BYTCHES
V ~ VEIN BYTCHES
E ~ EXTRA BYTCHES
LOVE IS FOR ALL THA BYTCHES
You're dreamy and romantic, with an active sexual imagination.
You'll fantasize about something before trying it, and you love role play.
Sex is an artistic expression, and you love to be the traditional victim in distress.
Pisces, you are dreamy, romantic, and old fashioned.
You are the sexual sign with the most active fantasy life.
You will go to any length to act out your favorite sexual fantasy... And you are an expert role player.
You love to be seduced in the most tender ways -
And can seduce others according to their fantasies.
You adapt to lovers' moods and leave them breathless with intensity.
You are moody, and you can get wounded easily.
Your gentle spirit needs protection - and usually gets it.
Few can resit your capcity for love.
You are mostly attracted to artistic, moody types.
Your versitility makes you perfect for any lover who likes to act out sex fantasies.
You'll go along with almost anything, as long as you get to play the victim.
You are not physically energetic anywhere, except in bed.
You adore surrendering to the passion of the moment, with complete abandon.
You love being swept off your feet.
O I WAS BOUTA SAY U SHOULDNT HAVE SAID THAT BUT NOW U SAID SHE BE FUCKIN AROUND YEA HSE DESERVED DAT SHIT..WOW SHE KNOW SHE WRONG SO SHE'LL GET OVER IT
