Kitty
This is of course Kitty. She's pretty fucking rad, and badass. She's become my best friend in just a few days. She's fucking gorgeous, and yes, she's single, but if you hurt her, I'll break your fucking heart for real. Starting with ripping it out of your chest. =] I'm going to hopefully see her this x-mas, and then possibly live with her. We'll be the best roomies ever. We're anime addicts. And we text non-stop. Don't like it? Don't care. Got shit to say to her, going to hurt her? I'll see to it, your face is mounted on my wall. =] Ily. Kitty.



Derek
This here is Derek. And I must say I love this boy. We've been through hell way more than once, and we've stuck it out. I've been there for him since he started ts, and I'll remain there for him. He's my skank, not yours. I'd do anything for him. We've gone through a lot of the same stuff in life, and he knows a lot about me. If you fuck with him, or hurt him in anyway. Your face is going to be a fucking bloody mess on the pavement after I grind it into the concrete.


Danny
This is Danny. He's by far my best friend. He's fucking chill, and he's better than you. Seriously, all you little fucking creepy girls, need to steer clear of his dick. You're not worth his time. He's taken anyway. He's fucking sweet as hell, and he honestly, gives a shit about people who he loves. He's amazing and I'm not even joking when I say, if you hurt this boy, you will regret it, and there will be problems. I'm tired of seeing him hurt, I have no problems bashing some heads in over him. He's stuck up for me before, and I'll stick up for him, even though we've had our disagreements before. Ily Danny.


Zoe
This is Zoe. She means the world to me. We've been friends, and then more, then back to friends more than once. We've decided on staying friends. She is super gorgeous and she's so sweet. I hurt her once, and I'll never stop regretting doing that to such an amazing person. Anyone would be lucky to have this girl. She's stunning both inside and out, plus she is silly as hell. Haha, I love her though. She is more than just a friend to me, but less than a lover. We're close beyond words. She'll always have a piece of my heart, that belongs only to her. No one and nothing is going to change that. Ever. Seriously though, if you fuck with her, we're going to have some issues that end up with you bloody on the floor. Ily.



Andy
This is Andy. He is my long lost twin. Yes sir. I love this kid. He's fucking rad as hell and funny too. OMFG, we are shallow bitches, AND we hate cunts. We made the cunt patrol, so cunts watch out we're coming for you. Even though he's almost a year older than me, we're so alike, we must have been separated at birth. I'm the girl version of this kid, and so fucking with him is like fucking with me. And I don't think you want me to shove you through a meat grinder. So, fuck off and don't hurt him ever. =D



Kaylee
This is Kaylee. She's fucking hardcore. We've just met and already she is beyond amazing and I love her to death. We're going to be best friends for sure. =] She's loyal as fuck to her friends, and she don't stand for no shit from anyone. She's fucking way better than you, and if you mess with her, you will get beat down cunt.

MY WRITINGS

Addiction

I'm hooked on you.
This is something that I'm sure of.
You're a drug to me, addicting and all encompassing.
Yet, something I should not be using.
For I'm not available for your taking.
Nor you available for mine.

But, nevertheless, as many people do sin.
I do as well.
For my envy of the one who'll have your heart/
My greed of wanting more with you.
My lust for a single taste of your flesh.
And so many more.

I wonder if I should tell you such things.
Whisper such things to you
In a poem, in a story, or perhaps just in blunt truth.

Or would you cut off my supply then and creep away into the shadows.


My addiction has gone to far, I must say.
I crave the times we speak.
And I long for the smile you plaster to my face.

Yet, I can't have you.
She has me.
And you've made no steps to show I'm even on your list.

I've become confused, in this perpetual haze of unknowing you put me into.
At least you aren't deadly, just addictive.

For now, I'll continue to feed my addiction,
Wary that one day I'll need more than my dosage now.
Perhaps, that day, you'll be mine for the taking.
Perhaps, that day, I'll be withdrawing from lack.

Only time will tell.
______________

Done crying over you
~
This is pointless.
Baring my soul for you to see.
Coming clean with the blunt truth.
You only see what you care to.
And I'm done crying over you.
As much as it hurts to do this,
This time I'm admitting it's over, it's done we're through.
I can't keep going through this.
There's nothing left I can do.
And I'm done crying over you.
You've made your choice
And that's fine by me.
But, now I've got to go.
I've a heart that I need to sew.
And I'm done crying over you.
I wish it would have turned out different.
But some things must change
I'm going to move on now.
I'll find a way somehow
I'm done crying over you


__________________


Life of mine
~
There are things in my life.
I know I need to change.
I realize I'm not perfect
And I've only me to blame.

I choose every one of those pretty little pills
I choose to get addicted
And end up feeling ill.
Chose to live for high
Chose to live for the flight
But, imaginary wings, only hold you up so long
And if I keep falling down
I won't get back up

I've chosen to let vanity get to me
I've chosen not to eat
To make a vital source of living
My mortal enemy
I know I need help
I can't do this on my own
So, stay by me, help me be strong
To accept the trials soon to come

I've allowed myself to fall short
To take others jealousy at heart
To listen to them, instead of you
Even though I know your concern is true
I've pushed others away
Because I was scared
But, I'll take you by the hand this time
And I'll never let go

I've found a bit of myself
That just has to change
A piece of me I always hide
And it's time to let it shine
I can't let self-doubt always push to the front
I'm got to be strong and stay tough
I'll do this now
I've found out how
And things are gonna look up

Though I swore not to
I'm going to change for you.
Change into me, and out of this costume
I can't keep living like this
You're absolutely right.
So, I'll toss the pills
I'll take a bite
I'll doll myself up
And I'll be alright
I'll accept you there by my side
I'll learn to love this life of mine
__________________

Anthem
~
I close my eyes, I breathe slowly and just listen.
The music surrounding me like nothing before.
I can see the notes in the air.
And I can feel the emotion in every word.

The song is about you.

Your voice, your touch, the way you move.
Everything coming together to form you.
It's the melody to the beat of my heart.

I place you on a mp3 file.
I download you to my iPod.
My trend setter.
I place you on every playlist.
I place you on repeat.

I breathe and I allow the notes to wrap me up and drag me in.
Swaying to the hypnotic rhythms and rhymes.
Lost in the place, out of time.

It's only me and the music.
It's only me and you.

Here I can find what I lost once.
Here I can find what I need.
And no one else has to know.

To others you're just another song.
Just a one hit wonder.

But, to me you're my anthem.
__________________

Choices
~
It's so wrong.

I shouldn't do it.
I know it.

I've had my heart broken.
Torn to shreds and ripped apart.
Incinerated with no second thought.

Can I really do that to someone else?

I don't know.
I need to.
I want to.
Not to hurt her.

Never to hurt her.

That was my promise wasn't it?
I'll never hurt you.

It was going so well...
Still is.

But, another has stolen my flesh from hers.
My heart, belongs to him now.

And I have to choose.

Deliberation in my room.
My temple of choice.

Pro's, con's, so many things.
Rationality isn't working.

They both end up the same.

Let my heart talk, let me soul talk,
The voices scream.

So, I do, I just lay back, and listen.

And it becomes clear.
The one I want.

But, it requires a sacrifice.

A tithe.

I have to hurt someone.
That regardless of this choice tonight.
Someone I love and care deeply for.

I know this is right,
Because if I loved her the way I should,
I wouldn't have wandered.
I'm still faithful to her,
Except in heart.

But, no, if I was the one for her,
She'd have kept it.

She's so beautiful and amazing.
But, she isn't him.

Today, my choices will unfold.
And I'll live with this decision.

Sometimes, you just have to follow your...
__________________

Darkness
~
Sadistic dreams, Masochist screams
A cold and hurting shadow affair
Nothing is left here
But memories ancient and haunting
A deadly plea for a lost cause

It's isn't fair to still hold on
To something dead and long gone
It's isn't right to keep me waiting
As you toss and turn all night

You words still echo firm and true
I'll be damned before i give into you
Ironic through damnation may be
When if you look closer you may just see

The demons fallen for the angel this time
There is no more reason nor rhyme
The piano plays so out of tune
As ghostly figures dance through the room

So dream and scream yes, hope and pray
I'll leave you to melt and fade away
Ashes to ashes dust to dust
Is all that's left of us
__________________

Love poem, no title
~
Amongst the ashes and debris
I know I'll find something waiting for me.
A small little slip of glossy paper.
With an imprinted image.

It won't be burned, it won't be ripped.
It won't be ancient, or ruined.
It'll be in perfect shape.
My love protects it.

This image means so much to me.
And for all that know me, it's plain to see
The image of a perfect boy
The one that holds my heart

I dig and I dig, through rubble and hurt
Through lies and betrayal
Until I find my sweet treasure
And hold it tight to me

I smile in glee as my emotions twist around me
Picking themselves up, and brushing off
Creating a sweet paradise
Where I can dream of you

Oh and doesn't that image just come to life
As you step from paper to my side
You take my hand and smile at me
And for once it is all right

Side by side, hand in hand
We lay in this sweet land
I've never felt more at home
Then when I'm anywhere with you
__________________

In loving Memory
~
And this is in loving memory of us
In loving memory of you
In loving memory of me
And all the things we couldn't do

This isn't the way it was meant to be
Not the way that we had planned
This isn't how it was
Suppose to work out in the end

So, I'll place our ashes in the water
Let the ocean wash them away
And soon my memories will all but fade away

And this is in loving memory of us
In loving memory of you
In loving memory of me
And all the things we couldn't do

I tried so hard to save this
To pull us from the flames
But amidst the smoke and ash
I couldn't find the way

And now we've fallen to pieces
And our dreams are burned to dust
And I don't where to turn
There's no one else to trust

And this is in loving memory of us
In loving memory of you
In loving memory of me
And all the things we couldn't do

I felt the regret
I felt the guilt
I wanted so bad to help us pull through
But when the paramedics came
And sent us away
Our hospital report
Said DOA

So, I'll place our ashes in the water
Let the ocean wash them away
And soon my memories will all but fade away

And this is in loving memory of us
In loving memory of you
In loving memory of me
And all the things we couldn't do

----------------------------------------
No Title
~

All I ever wanted was a touch.
A kiss goodbye, goodnight.
You were, after all, my starlight, starbright.
Shining for me, when the moon disappeared.

So, give me this night and let's dance.
The pain will fade, and memories will blur.
But, I'll never forget my night alone with you.
Not even if I live to see this world decay into dust.

Sprinkle me with attention.
Like you did all those before me.
Don't close your eyes and walk away.
It's just a moment in time after all.

And a moment in this big picture.
It's nothing at all is it?
This dance in my star's bright light.
Will blind us and hold us together for the time, but it remains just a moment.

Brush of your hand, your lips.
It'll tide me over for eternity.
What I wouldn't give to get a seat
At the gamblers table.

I'll throw out every piece I have to offer.
If you'll toss your life on the line.
We'll make some bets, lose some, and win some.
We might lose the game, we might win it.

How will we know if we don't play it?

-----------------------------------------------------
Untitled For Aiden
~
She lays in her bed, staring at her ceiling.
The lights are off, and her iPod is on.
A smile is spread across her face.
She's thinking again, about him.

Her heart is doing gymnastics in her chest.
Her lungs don't want to work.
She can't think right when he's on her mind.
It's obvious she is in love.

She thought before that perfection didn't exist.
But apparently that logic was wrong.
He's come and put a twist into it.
Because to her, he's the epitome of perfection.

His eyes, his smile, his way of being.
Of making her feel like she's someone special.
Who would have thought, falling in love
Could have felt so good.

He's everything to her now
He's taken over her entire world
The one thing she longs for most
Is to be encompassed in his arms

-----------------------------------------------------
What Is He?
~
He's becoming so much, so much more, than I ever though was possible.
He's the beat to my heart, and he's the smile on my face.
He's the song stuck in my head, I can't help but sing.
He's the feather softness, that caught me as I fell.
He's the man of my dreams, and everyone can tell.


He's the warmth that surrounds me when I'm cold
He's the force that protects me when I'm alone.
He's everything I ever thought I'd never have.
He's the breath in my lungs, and the twinkle in my eye.
He's absolutely everything, and I know the reason why.

It's didn't take long, and it didn't take much.
But, I know without a shred of doubt, that it's love.
I'm never letting go, and I won't dare stray
He'll have my heart, till the end of these days.

I could look, far and wide, from the depths of forever
To the length of this eternity and still I would not find
Another boy to take the place, of him in my life
My heart isn't even mine anymore, don't you know he stole it

I could write novels, sonnets, libraries on him.
And still my words would not be complete
He's more than indescribable even those things are describable through indescribable
But, he isn't
He simplistic and complex
So, I'll end this
With he's mine