ELEPHANT JOKES

Why are elephants large, grey, and wrinkled?

Because if they were small, white, and smooth they would be aspirins.

How do you kill a blue elephant?

Shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a red elephant?

Strangle it till it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a green elephant?

Tell it a dirty joke until it blushes and turns red, then strangle it until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a yellow elephant?

What the hell are you talking about? There are no yellow elephants!

How to catch a white elephant: Go to a place where there are white elephants. Bring with you a muffin (with raisins). Climb a tree. When the white elephant is close, drop the muffin (with raisins) in front of it. The white elephant will be happy, and eat the muffin (with raisins). White elephants like muffins (with raisins). Repeat this procedure for five days in a row. After the fifth day, the white elephant will be used to its daily muffin (with raisins). The sixth day you climb the tree, bringing with you a muffin (without raisins). Drop the muffin (without raisins) as usual. When the white elephant finds out that the muffin (without raisins) lacks rasins, it will darken in anger. And then you catch it the same way you catch an ordinary grey elephant.


Poems


This is called "Girls"

I hate girls,
they all suck,
they pretend to care,
but they don't give a. . . .
.
.
.
care.


I'm a natural, eh?


"Noble and manly music invigorates the spirit, strengthens the wavering man, and incites him to great and worthy deeds. "


"our lips met passionately,

she closed her legs........

..........and broke my glasses"

O_O
I didn't write that one.