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How to Annoy (Get Rid Of) A Blind Date
Hold a debate. Take both sides.
Repeat every third third word you say say.
Ask the people at the neighboring table for food from their plates.
Ask your date how much money they have with them.
How To Annoy People In An Elevator
Ask, did you hear that cable snapping sound?
Call the psychic hotline from you cell phone, and ask if they know what floor youre on.
Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, Thats mine!
Hum the theme from Mission Impossible with yours eyes darting around the elevator.
Ways To Annoy Your Professors
Instead of taking notes, do an abstract painting during every class. Call the paintings things like, "Professor Acting Like Mr. Know-It-All" or "Idiot Who Doesn't Know What The Hell He's Talking About." Give the paintings to your professor as gifts.
Ways To Annoy A Cop
Hey, you must've been doin' 125 mph to keep up with me!
You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
How To Be Annoying At A Funeral
Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.
Ask the widow to give you a kiss.
Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.
Show up at the funeral services in a clown suit.
How To Annoy Your Waiter
Eight hour lunch; two dollar tip.
Ask, "Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?"
After he describes each special, you shout, "Stinks!"
Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, "Minimum wage."
Ways to Annoy a Yankee (Northerner)
Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING.
Pronounce all one-syllable words with two.
Refer to every soft drink as a Coke.
Tell them you don't have an accent, they do.
How To Annoy Your Driver
Always tell the driver to slow down or speed up.
Every time you see a car pulling out, yell to the driver "Watch it!"
Point to the right and tell the driver to make a left.
How To Annoy Other Drivers
Keep your brake light blinking by keeping one foot on the brake pedal at all times.
If you are on vacation and you see any sort of wildlife, stop in your lane to take a lot of pictures.
Women are encouraged to put on their make-up while driving.
Annoying Things to do at a Synagogue
Use the Jewish hat as a frisbee
Bring popcorn and keep saying "i heard that religion got a good review"
Leave cookies and milk in the middle of the synagoguge with a peice of paper that reads santa
Ask people if they liked the passion
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