50 WAYS TO ANNOY YOUR PARENTS!
1. Follow them around the house..everywhere.
2. Moo when they say your name.
3. Pretend to have amnesia.
4. Say everything backwards.
5. Just keep chanting 'I know a song that will get on your nerves and this is how it goes...
6. Run around with a lamp shade on your head yelling "the sun! It's dying!!"
7. Run into walls.
8. Sing at the top of your lungs while running around the house in your underwear.
9. Have nervous spasms at anonymous times.
10. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.
11. Pretend to worship the Devil.
12. Stand over them at 4 in the morning with a HUGE grin on your face and say "Good morning Sunshine!"
13. Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder.
14. Run in circles.
15. Recite a whole movie 3 times.
16. Pretend to beat yourself up.
17. Pluck someone's hair out and yell "DNA!!!"
18. Slither everywhere.
19. Wear a sticker that says "I'm a retard!"
20. Wear your pants on your head and your shirt on your waist. tell them you're making a fashion statement.
21. Try and drink out of a glass the wrong way.
22. Super glue your finger up your nose.
23. Talk to a pen.
24. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to ALL the time.
25. Lay face down and chant like an Indian tribe.
26. Try and climb the wall.
27. Spread out on the window and buzz, pretending to be a fly.
28. Take your ice cream cone and put it on your forehead. Say your a lovely unicorn.
29. Put pegs on your nose and eyes.
30. Do what they actually tell you.
31. Switch the light button on and off for awhile. Then say "oh...I get it!"
32. Eat your hair.
33. Whatever they are eating, tell them it looks like a certain animal.
34. Eat anything obviously not edible.
35. Jump off the roof, trying to fly.
36. Say your pet is mocking you and chase it around the house.
37. Hold their hand and whisper to them "I see dead people."
38. When you shower or bath yell "I'm drowning!!!!"
39. Try and snorkle in your fish tank.
40. Ask them quietly "Pardon me but do you have any.." then yell "SHOELACES!!!!!!"
41. Chase an imaginary tail.
42. Demand that you want your own area code.
43. At everything they say yell "LIAR!!"
44. Pretend to be 346 years old.
45. Hang upside down in your closet.
46. Pretend to be a phone.
47. Try to swim in the floor.
48. Tap on their door all night.
49. KEEP SAYING HAPPY WOMBATS!!! WHENEVER THEY TALK TO YOU!!!
50. Repeat everything they say to you 58.5 times then laugh hysterically
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FAKE FRiENDS: Never ask for food.
REAl FRiENDS: are the reason you have no food.
FAKE FRiENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs
REAl FRiENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM
FAKE FRiENDS: never seen you cry.
REAl FRiENDS: cry with you
FAKE FRiENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAl FRiENDS: keep your shit so long they forget its yours.
FAKE FRiENDS: know a few things about you.
REAl FRiENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.
FAKE FRiENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAl FRiENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
FAKE FRiENDS: Would knock on your front door.
REAl FRiENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"
FAKE FRiENDS: Are for awhile.
REAl FRiENDS: Are for life.
FAKE FRiENDS: will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAl FRiENDS: Will knock them the fuck out
FAKE FRIENDS: Will read this.
REAL FRIENDS: Will steal this
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Whoever said nothings impossible,
Obviously didnt try slamming a revolving door!!!
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Bebo:http://www.bebo.com/SkateboardingHurts
Msn:tr0y12@hotmail.com
15 REASONS WHY EVERY GIRL SHOULD GET A SKATEBOARDER
1. We know countless moves and positions
2. We like to do it on camera
3. We can do it in the street and the park
4. We use special equipment
5. We like to go all day sometimes even night sessions
6. We travel far just to find some
7. We like kinks
8. We do it with more than one person
9. We grind on anything
10. We can do it backwards
11. We can handle big gap
12. We slip more when its wet
13. We switch our positions when you least expect it
14. We always have our pants half way down anyway
15. We always wax it
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Annoying Things People Do
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8 When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
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Having a Sense of Humour
These were posted on an NZ Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humor.
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Q: Does it ever get windy in NZ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
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Q: Will I be able to see kiwi birds in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
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Q: I want to walk from Auckland to Wellington - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
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Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in NZ? Can you send me a list of them in Auckland , Wellington , Christchurch and Queenstown ? ( UK )
A: What did your last slave die of?
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Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in NZ ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe ..
New - Zea -l and is that island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Auckland city . Come naked.
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Q: Which direction is North in NZ ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
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Q: Can I bring cutlery into NZ ? ( UK )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
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Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: - New-zea - l a is that quaint little country , which is ...
oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Auckland city , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
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Q: Can I wear high heels in NZ ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?
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Q: Are there supermarkets in Auckland and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal .
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Q: Please send a list of all doctors in NZ who can Dispense spider serum. ( USA )
A: Poisonous spiders live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All NZ spiders are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets . You should find some for yourself when you get here. Especially the ones with white tails .
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Q: I have a question about a famous animal in NZ , but I forget its name. It's a kind animal and lives in trees. ( USA )
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
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Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in NZ ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
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Q: Can you tell me the regions in Auckland where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay night clubs.
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Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in NZ ? ( France )
A: Only at Christmas.
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Q: I was in NZ in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the Girl I dated while I was staying in Wellington *. Can you help? ( USA )
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour..
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Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
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Remember when getting high meant swinging at the playground, The worst thing you could get from the opposite sexwas cooties, Watching the garbage truck eat up garbage was fun;Mom or Dad was your hero, You didn't have to worry about who was cool and who wasn't, You didn't have peer pressure, Sex and penis were the worst bad words, You didn't always think about sex, Your worst enemies were your teachers or your siblings, It wasnt awkward to suck on a lollipop; Race issues was who ran the fastest, War was a card game, The only drugs you knew was cough medicine, Cartoons were the best, and a girl that wore a skirt didn't have to be a slut; The only thing you smoked were the tires on your bike, The only thing that hurt was skinned knees, and the only things that could get broken were your toys. Life was simple and carefree, but what I remember the most was wanting to grow up...its amazing how things change isn't it...
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