Long Distance Relationship...

[rainbowvampire]

Okay well here's the thing. I'm a very shy person when you first get to know me and that causes me to be in the friendzone a lot. Every girl I like sees me as a friend before they find out I like them. So my question is...should I think about having a long distance relationship.? And if so are there any girls that might be intrested.?

[RelentlessLover]

I don't think a long-distance relationship should be considered because you have trouble with girls where you live.

[rainbowvampire]

Can u explain what you mean.? Please and thanks(:

[RelentlessLover]

I mean that a long-distance relationship shouldn't be sought out as a last resort.

[ThereGoesDewaynexD]

Long-distance relationships are more complicated than having a relationship with someone that lives down the street. You have to have complete honesty, trust, commitment, communication, and such things like that. But, if you're having issues with the girls you live by, what makes you think you'll do better with a long-distance relationship?

[rainbowvampire]

Because its easier to be less shy.

[ThereGoesDewaynexD]

But what if you guys meet up in the future. You'll be a whole new different person because you're shy. Most people like a person that is the same on the computer, video chat, texts, and other thing as well as being the same way in person.

[rainbowvampire]

But if I got to know a person before I met them why would I be shy.?

[ThereGoesDewaynexD]

I don't know. Everyone is different so I don't know how they would react to a type of situation like this.

[RelentlessLover]

I don't know. Everyone is different so I don't know how they would react to a type of situation like this.

He has a point. Meeting a person that you have spent quite a while developing an intimate relationship with online really isn't as easy as you think. As you said, it's easier to be less shy when you have a computer screen and many miles between you and the person you are talking to, that doesn't help shyness. That fuels it. It allows you to hide, and when you do meet that person after however long it may be, you are most likely going to have a whole 'nother emotional situation on your hands.

[rainbowvampire]

So how do u suggest I overcome my shyness.?

[rainbowvampire]

And background...I've moved around a lot so not only am I shy, but I'm not very quick to get too attached to a person. Which I've been told makes me seem like a conceited b*tch(which I'm not)

[RelentlessLover]

Simply go out more. Not just go out and stand by the sidelines, but try to engage people in conversation. Getting more comfortable in social situations is really the only way to deal with it. It's easier said than done, yes, but it's easier than you think. What I usually do at the beginning of the school year, which is coming up, is go and introduce myself to the people that just scream new or are kind of off by themselves and hope I luck out. It's awkward, but you can make a lot of great friends that way. I met my best friend throughout middle school because the teacher who knew me stuck me with the new kid and asked me to be kind and introduce her to people. At first I was annoyed, but I quickly realized that it wasn't so bad. Ever since that's been my method.

I don't think that makes you seem like a conceited bitch. I think that's actually a better trait to have than easily getting attached to people. No one wants to seem needy, but no one wants to seem cold. A nice medium is best. You don't have to fawn all over a person and follow them around like a puppy moments after meeting them. And you don't want to avoid them and not initiate contact either. Just be a nice, friendly person that smiles and maybe someone will take a liking to you. Someone is bound to. Just keep your chin up and your eyes open.