Sex before marriage?

[latenights]

Hi! My name is Joe and am 17. I was brought up a roman catholic in Ireland. I went to an all Catholic primary school and now go to a secondary school ran by the Catholic Church. When I was younger I was shaken with my faith but I now am a strong catholic. Meanwhile, while i was discouraging my new found religion, I also turned 17, and all my peers are being to have sex. This worries me as I don't wanna be "that guy" but i don't wanna disappoint god. Would just like to know peoples toughs on this. Also, would be very interested in different religions views on this. This is not just for Catholics. Thanks

[XmurderXchaosX]

I think you can't truly love someone until you know everything about them. This includes sexuality. There is no rational reason as to why it's immoral to have sex outside of marriage. Marriage is a man made tradition that really doesn't mean anything. It doesn't make you love your partner anymore or any less.

Not only do I accept this but I promote it. Sleep with several people. Expierence life.

[Darkness-Prince]

One day a young man came to the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of God be upon him) and exclaimed: "O Messenger of God, grant me permission to commit fornication!" The people around the Prophet turned to him and told him off, saying, "Ssh!" The Prophet said: "Come closer," so he came closer. He told him, "Sit down," so he sat down. He asked him, "Would you like this (i.e. fornication) for your mother?" He answered, "No, by God, O Messenger of God. May God cause me to be sacrificed for you!" He said: "No people would like it for their mothers."

The Prophet asked him, "Would you like this for your daughter?" He answered, "No, by God, O Messenger of God. May God cause me to be sacrificed for you!" He said: "No people would like it for their daughters." The Prophet asked him, "Would you like this for your sister?" He said, "No, by God, O Messenger of God. May God cause me to be sacrificed for you!" He said: "No people would like it for their sisters." The Prophet asked him, "Would you like this for your paternal aunt?" He said, "No, by God, O Messenger of God. May God cause me to be sacrificed for you!" He said: "No people would like it for their paternal aunts." The Prophet asked him, "Would you like this for your maternal aunt?" He said, "No, by God, O Messenger of God. May God cause me to be sacrificed for you!"

The Prophet put his hand on him and said: "O God, forgive him his sin, purify his heart and make him chaste." After that, the young man never paid attention to anything of that nature.

Catholic youth and Catholic people are generally not against fornication (or even homosexual activity) in my experience, and we can also see this in major Catholic countries like Brazil, Venezuela, Mexico and much of South America. I went to Catholic school and so I'm not talking preposterously. All the teachers and students spoke favourably of safe sex and homosexuality! Even on top of that, many of my friends from the school used to meet up to arrange group sex sessions. Catholic school girls in short skirts were pictured as the ripe archetype of sexuality in the Catholic high school subculture. Urgh, even books are written about it too I believe. How can you avoid premarital sex if you're being constantly tempted by beautiful young, voluptuous teenage girls in short plaid skirts and ironed white shirts? Or if you're being tempted by bronze bodies in g-strings? Haha. We forget the Scriptures and passion overtakes us! However religious, devoted Catholics (none of which I found in my country) and even every religious adherent of every heavenly religion seem to be agreed that fornication is wrong, sinful and transgression in the sight of God and violation of integral human dignity. But even religious people do little, say little and propagate little in condemning the sin of fornication and other scriptural abominations. Catholic society and Catholic schools are overtly promiscuous as hell, and majority of them are in darkness in understanding the severity of premarital sex.

So, what Scripture do we find that explains the reason and wisdom behind the Biblical prohibition on fornication? Here's a quote from the Islamic scriptures from the world's greatest prophet and religious leader after Jesus Christ (peace be upon them). If you are interested in hearing the world from an Islamic authority, just type in "fornication" or "zina" in Islam-qa.com's search field and you'll see literally hundreds of fatwahs from questioners about premarital sex as well as related issues (such as homosexuality, child of fornication and incest) and the Muslim scholars condemn this sin in the strongest language possible.

Peace, and despite I used to love Catholic school girls (one of my fetishes) I always loved the one who stayed a virgin the most because if I wanted become serious, committed, to marry and have a family... Who would I choose? A virgin, loyal girl or a typical Catholic school girl? Go figure. Sin is sin and nothing can change that no matter the religion or scripture.

[ticketxtoxride]

I believe in sex before marriage because there is a such thing as sexual compatibility. Some people just cannot enjoy sex together - and that can actually be bad for a relationship, especially if you intend to have children and therefore have lots of sex in order to attempt to conceive. I'm not saying people should go around and sleep with tons of people - if they do, though, that's their own choice and it's not my place to judge - but what I'm saying is that I think it's alright to sleep with a serious partner before you consider marriage, simply so you know that you're sexually compatible. I was raised Catholic and this is still my belief - of course, I've been non-practicing since I was eleven, but the point is that I was raised being told that it's wrong and that I don't personally believe that. I'm twenty-one now and I've had four serious partners in my life - and yes, I've dealt with sexual incompatibility (not in all of them, but in one of them). Even though there's more to a relationship than sex, and one shouldn't be based on sex, the sex is indeed a large part of a serious relationship.

[myfriendtunia]

I am all for purity I think that sex should be after marriage. I am saving sex, and my first kiss for my husband.

[dyketastic]

If god's real, he did a terrible job with us. this post. LOL.

[busylife16]

since u want different religions percpectives i will give u Jews way of looking at it. Basically the only relashenship that is proper is marriage! i am sure u have all heard of a bar mitzvah on tv, well from that age (13) and for girls 12, there is no touching!! and so to prevent no touching they dont even speak to eachother(unless siblings) when it comes time to date only date for marriage and if not ready for it then dont! there is no touching when going out, only until after married!! so yeah jews= no sex before marriage! if u have any questions feel free to ask

[myfriendtunia]

coolio!!! I knew they got married early and the men were like 20-30 or older.... didn't know that....

"and so to prevent no touching they dont even speak to eachother(unless siblings) when it comes time to date only date for marriage and if not ready for it then dont!"

courting is that what that is called? I want to court... never had a bf... and I am 14... I want one, but I am choosing to wait till I graduate high school, or at least till I am 16. I have had lots of guys ask me out but i say no. This one guy, we talked on the phone for a while... but then I said "I am not ready for this... let's just be friends" we still like each other, and hope that when we are older we can court each other... the possible marriage. but until then we are friends that like each other... ALOT.

[busylife16]

its like matchmaking but not, a girl will tell her family and friends what she is looking for in a husband, manners, life values.... and he does the same, when someone knows of both pple and thinks they would be a good match they suggest to both sids, if either the girl or boy does not agree then it does not go throught and they continue else where... yes there are some girls who start to date out of hight school, those who feel they are ready, most choose to take a year of in skl somewehre they start,at about 20 it is all whatever they feel is best for them, boys on the other hand usually start when 23 or 24, they usually more mature ready to support a wife and family.... not always sometimes younger like 21... all depends on the person

[myfriendtunia]

yeah okay, makes sense. That is pretty cool... didn't really know all that! My mom doesn't want me to marry a guy that can't hold a job, or has his on vehicle, and takes care of his stuff, as well as if he has a home and can support me and a family. He HAS to be Christian like me... I will not go into a relationship with a guy that doesn't believe the way I do. To me, Christianity is important. laugh if ya want...

[busylife16]

nothing at all to laugh at at myfriendtunia!!!

[JohnDoe429]

Basically according the Bible, it is a huge sin to have sex before marriage. But 99% of so called "devoted Christians" do it anyways. Another hypocrisy in the Catholic church.

[hovla]

Basically according the Bible, it is a huge sin to have sex before marriage. But 99% of so called "devoted Christians" do it anyways. Another hypocrisy in the Catholic church.

its sin, but not huge sin. Its not one of the seven deadly sins.

Anyway to answer OP, i dont see much wrong with having sex before marriage, in fact i believe its ridiculous to wait for marriage for various reasons some of which other people in this thread pointed out. Pros outweigh cons by far.

Nobody is perfect and everybody sins, try your best to be a good decent person and dont over think yourself on such issues.

[Stay-Gold]

Honestly? Just do what you want to do.Apparently your "god" is forgiving, so why not do the smart thing and test drive the car before you buy it?

It would suck shit to spend years with someone, pay a bunch of money for a wedding and then have slim-no sexual compatibility.

[myfriendtunia]

Well WHY have sex and ruin the gift when God says to stay pure/chaste? It is like play Russian Roulette with that mindset Stay-Gold. It is dangerous... the reason why God said to wait is numerous. One cause of all the diseases you can get if you have sex over and over with a bunch of people. Two, because if you have sex outside of marriage, then how in the world are you going to continue to love that person when you have been selfish and not controlled your appetite? You are made to control yourself. God created the sex drive, but He also created a way to use it CORRECTLY. If you are going around like a bunch of Alley cats, or billy goats then you are in a world of trouble. If you were raised to wait for marriage, and you go and have sex... then you will have a lot of shame and a broken heart. I still say WAIT! It is worth it!!!!

[HutchersonLover]

I am a Christian and it is a strong belief not to have sex before marriage. It is actually a sin for Christians to do so. There is a commandment sying not to do so. Many people of my religion, including myself, have not and do not plan on having sex before marriage. We are not supposed to reveal our body to a man that is not our husband. But we do not cover our whole body when we go out in public like some other religions. We are allowed to show some skin, but not our whole body.

[hovla]

to posters above me, to which christian denomination you belong? just curious

[XmurderXchaosX]

Well WHY have sex and ruin the gift when God says to stay pure/chaste? It is like play Russian Roulette with that mindset Stay-Gold. It is dangerous... the reason why God said to wait is numerous. One cause of all the diseases you can get if you have sex over and over with a bunch of people. Two, because if you have sex outside of marriage, then how in the world are you going to continue to love that person when you have been selfish and not controlled your appetite? You are made to control yourself. God created the sex drive, but He also created a way to use it CORRECTLY. If you are going around like a bunch of Alley cats, or billy goats then you are in a world of trouble. If you were raised to wait for marriage, and you go and have sex... then you will have a lot of shame and a broken heart. I still say WAIT! It is worth it!!!!

Lol, I've had sex with 14 Guys and have zero diseases or regrets. I think I respect my body more because I acknowledge my sexuality and don't repress it because of some old book of mythology tells me to. But to each our own I suppose.

[khaligula]

I'm just letting you know that any marriage without sex preceding it (sex with other people too) is inevitably headed for failure for various reasons. What kept marriage alive before the modern era were financial or political reasons. A wife depended on her husband. Sex wasn't a priority. Today, marriages depend on "love" and sex is a big part of that, including potential sex with other people. Curiosity (for sex with others) and dissatisfaction (for not knowing what they want) will kill your marriage.

[shakirano1fan]

It really does not matter what religions teach, what your peers say, even what your parents allow you to do. What God says is what goes. If you read the bible you will see that sex before marriage is a sin. So instead of pleasing everyone else, please God. He is the only one that matters in the end