Waiting Till Marriage

[ThatGirlKourtni]

What a lot of you seem to not understand is that sex is different for everyone. Just because you do not want to have sex until you are married does not make you any better than someone who has sex while they are not married, and vice versa. Just because you feel like you need to save sex for that "special someone" doesn't mean everyone does. Just because you feel that virginity isn't a big deal doesn't mean everyone does. Sexuality is an extremely individual thing. Some people feel ready to do it when they're 16, some don't feel ready until they're 36. It's about maturity and feeling like you're ready.

And quite honestly, a person's sex life is no one's business but theirs. Unless they're sleeping with your boyfriend/girlfriend, you should not be concerned with who they're having sex with.

In other words, no one is wrong for having sex and no one is wrong for choosing to wait until they're married to have sex. There is no definitive answer as to when a person is mature enough and responsible enough to have sex and deal with the possible consequences that come with that decision.

[ThatGirlKourtni]

The OP didn't mention religion.

This is posted in the "religion" part of the forums, so yeah the OP kind of did mention religion...

[Headcase-]

While it's one thing to "wait for the right person", I think it's a little bananas to wait until you make a commitment as big as marriage before you have sex even once.

It's such a powerful piece of a relationship; what happens if you marry someone, hit 'em up on your first night as husband and wife, and discover that you have no sexual chemistry or sychronization?

Something to think about.

[Paulzee]

Meh, no. Why wait until something that has a 50% chance of failing anyway?

[xXgigglingstarXx]

I'm still not sure, I like the idea of waiting. But I've also never been in a super serious relationship, so I may end up doing it before I'm married if I feel like it's the right time and place with the right person. Because that's what it's all about for me. I do really like the idea of waiting, but I don't want to feel like I missed out on something else kind of special. But I'll just have to wait and see how it plays out.

[JohnDoe429]

I don't really have an opinion. But what I do find stupid is that some people say it's okay to do oral but not vaginal. IMHO, oral is worse. Vaginal is more like, intimate and would be in an "I love you a lot state so let's do it". If anyone gets what I mean.

[Mr_Quick]

The problem I have with the notion of waiting for marriage is that the sex drive is quite strong, especially in men, and it appears long before a person is likely to be ready for marriage in modern society. As such, waiting for marriage ought to increase the odds of settling for a less-than-ideal spouse in order to satisfy one's long-repressed desire for sex. Meanwhile, if a person satisfies that compulsion beforehand, that reduces its effect on the person's perception, allowing them to view potential marriage partners more objectively and reducing the temptation to idealize them, which ought to decrease the likelihood of choosing an unsuitable spouse or making other rash decisions with regard to their sex life.

The parts preceded by "ought to" are largely based on theory; however, the limited empirical data available on the subject appears to support said theory. For instance, in the US, states that push the "wait for marriage" ideal on kids have lower ages of first marriage, higher rates of teen pregnancy, more "shotgun weddings", and higher divorce rates than states that don't take such an approach in their education systems. In short, repressing sexual urges seems to encourage the very same social problems that such a strategy is meant to prevent.

[PLucy]

I am.

I agree it seems like a lot of people are sleeping around or fooling around.

I also wish saving oneself until marriage wasn't not only a religious 'thing' but something more people did even if they weren't religious.

I am not religious whatsoever, I just want to wait until marriage because of my own personal beliefs. & others who think differently, up to them. We all have a choice.

[miami_lez]

Then again, considering that people who wait for sexual relations in marriage don't know what to expect, crappy sex may just be normal to them because they have no comparisons to make :3 Always that card to play! And hey, they want to wait - I have a bit of respect for that, because yeah, that's less of a spread of STDs and teen pregnancy and all the other sexual nasties.
Did I wait? Nope. I didn't throw my virginity away to experiment or gain pleasure - I had sex for the first time with the first woman I loved. And well, I found it satisfying and worthwhile. And the handful of times I did have sex, with the few people I did, were out of love - no fooling around for me. Does that make me a bad person? Maybe in your eyes, but I couldn't care less. I don't regret my sexual history, because my partners were carefully selecte and there was a deep emotional bond. And in retrospect to saving yourself for marriage, I'll know how to please my partner in marriage, because I'm not inept. Always a plus

[Lm_Rich]

I agree with waiting! I am soooo for purity, and I am saving myself for my husband. I have never had a bf. Never been kissed. not interested either. I am waiting. I am passionatly seeking God's plan for me and my future. I will get married someday but till then, I am single, never been kissed, and pure! I want to experince that love for my one and only man... that's my thought folks!!!!

I wish you good luck with that. But i'd like to make a few points.

1) you live in a society where 4 out 10 people think marriage is obsolete not to mention the divorce rate is 50%
2)not only are you just 14 youre home schooled youre not surrounded by hormanal teenage guys who get your engine reving so to speak.

Waiting till marriage is pointless, being sexually compatibale is an important part of any long standing monogomus realationship. Not to mention sex is considered a physical catharsis.

That being said, theres a difference between being sexually active before marriage and whoring your self around.

[alexiswashere]

I love the thought of waiting til marriage. I think it's an honorable & respectable thing. However, I don't have a problem with having sex before marriage. I would personally like to wait until I'm married. I know that if I have sex with someone now and things don't work out, I would always regret it. It's just how I am. I'm kinda old fashion when it comes to these things, though. It's difficult for me to date because the guys around here are only interested in sex.

[zombienationxo]

Sex is natural, just because you aren't a virgin doesn't mean they sleep around. Don't sit here and try and say every person on here who is not a virgin sleeps around, unless you can back your facts up 100%. Also those who say you're saving it to show you have 'respect for yourself', and 'class' just makes me laugh, I'm sure your parents, or family members lost theirs prior to marriage. All marriage is is a piece of paper really...But hey everyone is entitled to their own views, and opinions! If you ask me no I wouldn't just want one sexual partner forever, and no I haven't&don't sleep around. I definitely wait until I'm in a relationship, or love/deep emotional connection before sex.

[Ali-31]

Do what you want, just don't expect others to follow.

[Luke_Carpenter]

I'm prepared for when my girlfriend is ready. May it be Marriage or longer, I just feel dirty if I even think about forcing the subject onto her. I personally believe that if you are going to have sex with someone, it's a mutual agreement, if you just force them it's wrong in every single way.

Relationships are more than just sex, it's a place where two people can make 2 world's, one big world.

[XmurderXchaosX]

I lost my virginity when I was 16 to a guy I barely know while I was completely intoxicated. And you know what? That doesn't bother me a damn bit.

The importance of sex varies from person to person. Whether it is sacred or not is completely subjective. I think sex is far from sacred. It's probably the most basic, animalistic thing about us. If you really break sex down, it's just two people rubbing crotches together usually resulting in an orgasm. The only sex I have a problem with is people who use sex as a weapon, cheaters, and home wreckers. Anything else, is completely fine in my book. Just be safe. And if you have an STD inform your partner before hand.

I do think it's a bit foolish to marry someone you've never had sex with. But then again, I am not so high and mighty to think I am better than someone who does this this.

It's a shame that people like Stridar and many others, think human sexuality and how we go about it IS objective. Anyone who has sex before marriage, whether it be with a long term partner or multiple people who are promiscuous, is either insecure or disrespects themselves? Really, what gives you the power to judge them like that? Sure, there are people who have sex that do have emotional issues and use sex to make themselves feel better. But believe it or not there are people out there that just like casual sex.

And you are no better than them for waiting.

[JohnDoe429]

I lost my virginity when I was 16 to a guy I barely know while I was completely intoxicated. And you know what? That doesn't bother me a damn bit.

Because you don't have respect for yourself. You don't care.

[XmurderXchaosX]

Because you don't have respect for yourself. You don't care.

It's a shame that people like Stridar and many others, think human sexuality and how we go about it IS objective. Anyone who has sex before marriage, whether it be with a long term partner or multiple people who are promiscuous, is either insecure or disrespects themselves? Really, what gives you the power to judge them like that? Sure, there are people who have sex that do have emotional issues and use sex to make themselves feel better. But believe it or not there are people out there that just like casual sex.

And you are no better than them for waiting.

My bad, would you close minded people prefer I call you out personally? I'll add you in there if you like.

[JohnDoe429]

Your situation is more extreme. There is no denying it. I don't care if people have sex with their boyfriend/girlfriend if they think they're are really in love. Getting drunk and having sex with someone you barely know just shows how you don't care about your body or being respected. Let's not be ignorant.

[XmurderXchaosX]

Your situation is more extreme. There is no denying it. I don't care if people have sex with their boyfriend/girlfriend if they think they're are really in love. Getting drunk and having sex with someone you barely know just shows how you don't care about your body or being respected. Let's not be ignorant.

How is having sex with someone I'm not dating "not caring about my body"?

I had an orgasm. Orgasms are good for your body. You know what's not good for your body? Repressing sexual desires.

[JohnDoe429]

How is having sex with someone I'm not dating "not caring about my body"?

I had an orgasm. Orgasms are good for your body. You know what's not good for your body? Repressing sexual desires.

How would you know what you had if you were intoxicated? And if you're so smart and know what's good for your body, wouldn't you know that sleeping around people, and especially while being intoxicated, increases your risk of getting disease? I can tell you don't really respect your body, and have no desire for others to either.