Let it Out

[prettylittlethings]

feel bad
should of been lovey-er + more caring.


kinda sucks though.
not your fault but still.
nothing today and tonight
and tomorrow probably nothing too and you'll probably go out.

need to be more understanding though.
and just suck it up.

[OneDisasterLess]

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[i-seek-attention]

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[TheDisintegrators]

I feel like I am made of hate. I feel like 90% of my thoughts are about anger now. I think getting killed would be a blessing in disguise. I'm tired of feeling this way. Feeling like I fuck everything up. Feeling like I'm a horrible person. Feeling like I'm worthless and that no one wants me around. I am dreading my brother leaving for school. He is the only thing around keeping me happy. I know I shouldn't feel like this. I really am grateful for what I have. I just can't stand myself. Everything about me makes me feel like shit. I wish dad was home. I can't stand my mother. She does so much for me, and I appreciate her so much, but she acts like a bitch so much for no reason. I know she is stressed, and I try to be understanding, but I am only human. I can't deal with all of this. I can't always be strong for her. Who is being strong for me? She sees things so one sidedly and acts like I'm a bitch. It's like she thinks I am not stressed. I feel like I'm going to explode. I hold everything in and it is getting hard. I hate not being perfect. I hate being ugly. I hate being chubby. I hate not looking good. I hate being this way. I hate how I'm working to change and I'm failing. I would give anything to be pretty. I know that is shallow, I am just getting so tired of being around my friends. They're all so beautiful and flawless. But their personalities really get on my nerves sometimes. I don't know why they act the way they do. When I am around them I just feel horrible about myself. It is unfair. And I know that part of it is jealousy. I am just so tired of being me. I don't even care about my good grades or my athletic ability. That doesn't matter in high school. I hate being so insecure. To be honest, I hate how no one cares. I hate when people do care though. I have brought this on myself. I just want someone who really wants to know what's wrong. I feel alone even though I have all of my friends surrounding me. I hate this. I don't want to be here. I don't think I can live with this self loathing any more. I am such a dramatic bitch. I fucking hate how I think these things.

I highly doubt you're ugly or chubby. Your friends probably have the same self-image problems you face. Honestly, most people go through the same thoughts you do. It's not uncommon so everyone understands.

[tigerbunny]

i hate being jealous.
i hate being insecure.
and i hate that i never thought i'd end up like this.

[prettylittlethings]

^ same.

[xKerosene]

So...I thought this was going to be a much better year than the last, but already it's shitty.
An old friend of mine died tonight, so in the spirit of things;

We can shed tears that you are gone,
or we can smile because you have lived.
Our heart can be empty because we can't see you,
or we can be full of the love you shared.
We can remember you only that you are gone,
or we can cherish your memory and let it live on.
We can cry and close our minds,
be empty and turn our backs.
Or we can do what you'd want:
smile, open our eyes, love and remember.♥

[lady_vogue]

ouch.

[prettylittlethings]

im so up and down.

[MyTeenAgeFairytale]

cant believe how well i'm handling all this.

well so far anyways =/

[NiaII-]

I really want to make you happy. I know you're going through so much shit with her, and all I really want to do is find a way to do so. Eh, roll on March, I hope.

[i-seek-attention]

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[insicuro]

I count myself so lucky because I get to be close with you. You're absolutely fantastic, and if you hadn't pulled through for me this weekend, I don't know what I'd have done.

I feel like I can be my full weird and full crazy around you, and I love that because you don't mind at all- you seem to kind of like it, in an odd way. That makes me happier than you could imagine. You're just so many sorts of lovely, and I'm definitely going to ask you round more often- and not just when I need help with coursework and filming. I can't believe how much fun I have with you.

[Schadenfreude-]

Life needs a pause button for real. Or at least rewind. Today started out as such a good day. Sun was shining, woke up at a reasonable time. I felt so content. But as the day progressed it just seemed to lose it's charm. I guess I started stressing. And then procrastinating. Which only made me feel worse and angry. And then the worry set it. And after this cocktail of troubles I tend to jump numb down. I'm paralysed and can't do anything. It feels so disappointing and so disgusting. I feel I can't talk to anyone about it though. I know who would be most likely listen to me and share my worries etc. But I just feel it would be burdening them. Or that they just wouldn't care. I know I am being very harsh and critical but I can't help it. I wish things were much more simple though. I think I'll find a way of scaring myself silly. Being happy to stay in the confines of my desk. It would be helpful if Google Chrome worked though.

I guess I always thought my ambitions would get me through these last few 'young teenage years' but they seem so far away too, it's like can I really do this? I think it's time I ask my parents for help. I just need to admit that if I keep trying to do this myself I'll end up back at square one. God I feels so dirty.

But I made ice cream today so it wasn't such a wasteful day?

[itsvodkabitch]

Shut the fuck up. I rap better than you, you're never going to be famous.

[CoreyCarter]

Shut the fuck up. I rap better than you, you're never going to be famous.

spit some shit maaannngggg

[itsvodkabitch]

spit some shit maaannngggg

lol
I got into a rap battle with another tser a while ago. It was funny.

But really this guy is sooo bad. He has this song and this is pretty much the jist of the song

"here kitty kitty here kitty kitty cat
here kitty kitty here kitty kitty cat
What you gonna do when you get that kitty cat
a little bit of this and a little bit of that"

And he plays it back to back to back like it's some kind of hit. >_<''

[CoreyCarter]

............... sounds like a 1st grader with some sex knowledge

[tapanger]

Okay, you are honestly the ideal woman. You are incredibly intelligent, you have a BEAUTIFUL fashion sense and aren't afraid to take risks with your clothes, you are funny and classy and you are incredibly mysterious to others other than.. me, I guess. And your family. You are so kind and so great and so adventurous and mystical magical and you're just such a wonderful best friend! I'm so incredibly happy that you are my friend, and I wouldn't want to be such good friends with anyone from school other than YOU! I'm pretty much your only friend from school and you're pretty much my only friend, and that's okay because we're GREAT friends. Oh my gosh I am just so happy that you are so pretty. Is it weird that I'm saying that? I'm so surprised that more people aren't desperate to be your friend and know more about you. I'm not jealous, I just admire you so much. I LOVE YOU PAL

[Nellisreal]

I'm feeling really confused and depressed.