You prove over and over again that you are not mature enough for a serious relationship, let alone engagement and marriage. I love how ignore everything in the post that you know is true, and still come back to the childish game of "I have been through so much more than everyone else, waaaaaaaaa"

Seriously, until you realize that what you have been through isn't that bad, and that every couple who has been together longer than a month has probably been through the same about of stuff as you have, you are not ready to get engaged. You are not the exception that every little kid couple thinks they are. You are just like every other teenage girl who is convinced that she is going to marry the guy she started dating at 13. Although the idea of dating under the age of 16 is really laughable to me, but that is besides the point. I couldn't imagine going on a date and having to have mommy and daddy drive me. Or better yet, you may have never been on a date. Is your relationship one of those little "will you go out with me" relationships that never goes further than going to see each other between classes at school?

Go tell your parents you want to marry this 16 year old. See what they say.

listen hun, in all honesty, im not gonna tell you that you've been through nothing, but that doesnt make this logical at all. i'm 18 years old and my boyfriend Justin and I have been through serious illness, abuse, parents dying, lots and lots and lots of some really shitty stuff over the years... just as others certainly have. maybe our problems were more severe than some, maybe nowhere near as severe as others, but i can't judge what people have and haven't been through the way that you are.

while we are very very much in love and could potentially go the distance, neither of us are ready or mature enough to get married. of course we've gone through that fairy tale idea that our love will keep us together, but that is NOT all it takes. it takes maturity, wisdom, and insight before you can make such a huge decisions. we are still in college, both broke as hell, and still very young and stupid and have a lot of things ahead. while we've "BEEN THROUGH MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE" that doesn't really mean much of anything besides that we strengthened our relationship. hopefully, yes, your situations made your relationship stronger but it cannot justify any stupid decisions that you make.

Having been through a number of tough life situations does not equate maturity. Bad things happen to everyone, some more than others. It is rather inevitable, and it is not the fact that you have been through these things, but rather how you have dealt with these ordeals and how they have affected you as a person that matters. I certainly though I had seen it all at the age of 14, and to be certain I had seen more than most people my age had, or some people ever will. Does that mean I was the epitome of maturity and prepared to engage in the union of marriage? Hardly.

The fact that you are so defensive of wanting to marry someone who does not want to marry you speaks volumes about your grasp on reality.

Perhaps, if you are still together in four years, at which point it is legally an option to get married, he will have changed his mind. However, if at the current point in your life you can not legally engage in the contract of marriage, then why are you so concerned about it? In the mean time, work on strengthening your relationship and ensuring a good future for yourself by studying hard in school, and enjoying yourself as a teenager. Some day the time will come to settle down, get married, and forget your team, your band, your club, etc. in turn for your spouse, but now is not that time.

why are you even discussing marriage...even if you are soulmates or whatever you want to call it, you aren't even of legal age yet. so drop it till youre both 18

What TERRIBLE things have you been through?

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Drifloon.

Happy.
Pepsi, smoking and Northern Soul.

15th September 2008


Lesbian.

I completely agree with him. Marriage always turns a relationship into something different from what it was. When you're dating you're always wanting win your partner over or do nice things for them, but when you're married it's like "Well, I'm married, I don't have to try anymore" Plus you're pretty young and you should wait till you're financially stable and have a steady career and a life before you start adding on things like that

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And you will know my name is the LORD, when I strike my vengeance upon thee!
-Jules Winnfield

I don't agree with this.
I'm getting married in less than 8 months and my fiance and I both still love going out of our way to make the other smile. A piece of paper doesn't change that, people get bored and THEY change,marriage itself has nothing to do with it.

Well no shit. That's pretty much what I said, but I was specific down to saying "the people do it themselves" And plus you're not married yet, you're still technically dating. Wait 8 years and see if you're not bored.

I'm not saying a successful marriage isn't possible, but it's hard and you need to put a lot into it. My grandparents have been married for 40 years and they are still wonderful together.

__________________
And you will know my name is the LORD, when I strike my vengeance upon thee!
-Jules Winnfield

No it's not. You specifically said "marriage turns
the relationship into something different" and "well, I'm married so I don't have to try anymore"

Not people change when they get married or anything to that effect.
Every single married couple i know whether it has only been one year or 60 years still put a significant amount of effort their relationship and don't use marriage or boredom as an excuse not to. IMO, if people are getting bored in their relationships, they shouldn't be in them but marriage itself has nothing to do with it.

Well when somebody says "I'm married, I don't have to try anymore" that's gernerally referring to the person saying that...paper doesn't talk.

__________________
And you will know my name is the LORD, when I strike my vengeance upon thee!
-Jules Winnfield

That's what I was saying about my grandparents.
They just celebrated their 60th and they're one of the most inspiration couples I've ever known.

You're missing my point.
-_-
Doesn't matter.
People are stupid and shouldn't be in a relationship at all if they get bored with them, much less a marriage.

End of story lol.

Yeah...but my mom just got a divorce with my step-dad...and they hardly lasted a year. And he had the "Well I'm married, no need to try now" attitude and he even told my mom that. So...there's a lot of different routes marriage can take. That's why I won't get married for a long time...

__________________
And you will know my name is the LORD, when I strike my vengeance upon thee!
-Jules Winnfield

Lol agreed. I see your point now. Some people marry for the wrong reason, or marry on weak love.

__________________
And you will know my name is the LORD, when I strike my vengeance upon thee!
-Jules Winnfield

There's a lot of people who will marry strictly for the benefits of marriage,not because they actually want to spend their life with another person.
People who actually want to spend their life with the other will usually make the effort to show it and put the effort into the marriage to make it work. While it maybe not be for life as there's just some things that people can't move past, but for a period of time that both will appreciate and not regret.

lol yes.

u're 14. don't tell me u want to get married. i'm 18, been with my bf for 2 years and counting..and i am not married...it's no hurry.

Not all couples just "get bored". Many went into a marriage expecting it to be something that just comes naturally when in reality they need to work at it. I have been married nearly two years. I try harder now to keep my husband happy than I did when we were engaged. He is my world and we are very much in love, but we have to work at it day and night. I think I try more so now that we are married, simply because he loved me enough to marry me, I need to do everything in my power to keep him happy because I love him that much. My grandparents are the same way, they have been married nearly 50 years, actually I think they are going to 50 years this July, and they still put effort into their relationship, because you have to. It's is how it works.

If someone just lets a relationship slide, or gets bored in them, they have no business being in a serious relationship, let alone a marriage.

I couldn't agree more. I think a lot of people these days get married BECAUSE they are bored. They think that marriage is just the next step and whether it is what they really want or not, they just do it, assuming things will fall into place. News flash, if you don't have your shit together before your married, it wont magically come together after you are.

TLDR

First, a lot can happen in 10 months but not enough to make sure that marriage is the right thing. I don't know what tremendous things you and your beau have been through but its absolutely not enough to give reason to get married.

Second, so many teen relationships don't last. He might be 16 but 16 is not old. Also, males mature much slower then females so maturity wise he is younger than 14.

Third, your friends are stupid. They wont be together for long. If you ask me your boy is smart.

Now don't go posting ridiculous topics on this forum and expecting to only hear things that you want to hear. That is absolutely not going to happen. Your question and your situation is ridiculous and even though you might feel like you're ready for marriage I can promise that you're not.

Take it from me and the other people who have responded who have had much more experience in relationships then you have.

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