heh... i haven't written in a while. hope this provides some--erm--entertainment for you. :)
---


Joy seems to escape me
When I see you.
You and your lies,
Your stories,
Your over-exaggerations.
But on the contrary,
I am filled with hope.
Hope that you,
Someday,
Will see through this mask.
My mask.
My mask of hate for you.
Hope that your ignorance
Is only a phase.
A phase soon passing.
That old phrase,
"Ignorance is bliss,"
Does not fall true.
Your ignorance
Provides no bliss.


---
criticism please?

What I got from it is that you kind of hate the guy, but deep down you like him and want him to see through your pretense. But I'm not sure if my interpretation is "correct." As for critique, I noticed a few things...

First of all, "But on the contrary" is redundant. You don't need the "but" because it means the same thing as "on the contrary."

I really like how you flowed "your and your lies/your stories/your over-exaggerations." It was good and when I read it aloud it sounded just right.

This seemed kind of awkward:

Hope that you,
Someday,
Will see through this mask.

The "someday" kind of threw it off for me. Maybe you could try:

Hope that you
Will Someday
See through this mask.

Just a suggestion. Also, the phase/phrase so close together in the last few lines looks a little confusing visually. They look and sound too similar to end lines so close together. Maybe try "saying" instead of "phrase?"

I also thought maybe a little playing around with capitalization and line breaks could add more flavor to the poem, instead of capitalizing every first letter. For example, instead of:

Does not fall true.
Your ignorance
Provides no bliss.

you could try:

Does not fall true.
Your ignorance provides
no bliss.

Just a suggestion. Anyway, I like the poem overall and I hope you don't think I was too harsh. Just trying to critique helpfully. :) Keep writing!~

thanks for the reply. no, it wasn't too harsh.
yeah, that's what the poem was about.
your comments really helped. :)