Hey peoples, yet again another poetry ATTEMPT by me!

*I'm not supposed to wonder*

I'm not supposed to wonder
I'm not supposed to care
I'm not supposed to spend my days
Wishing you were there

But still it's not that simple
To change the way I feel
This is what love is
And that's the real deal

I'm supposed to be immune to this
All this talk about love
Saying that there's a perfect match for everyone
Like there sent straight down from above

But every time I look at you
It makes me change my mind
I wish I could just block this out
Leave these feelings behind

I know there's no way you feel the same
Care for me like I care for you
Maybe if I could change this
It wouldn't be something I'd want to undo

So Iv'e made up my mind
I'm not gonna care
I'm gonna get out of this
These feeling are so unfair

Yet I pass your in the hall
And you give that fatal glance
And I fall back in love again
I don't think I stand a chance

I turn my head and walk away
Trying not to look at you
But I know iv'e lost control
Now there's nothing I can do

What happen to the old days
I used to be so strong
Why did it happen like this?
How could I let it go on so long?

w00t w00t!

thanx!

I put a few tweeks on the poem...I think I like it better now.

The first part......Seems familiar. Like I've heard it somewhere before?

^^yeah I've heard it too...I was thinking the same thing. :moo:

I think, and please don't take any offence to this coz its a great poem, but the topic of i love ou but you don't love me is reallly worn thats why it seems so familiar if thats what ur feeling then go ahead but you should try and go deeper. But apart from that good job!

i'm about as deep as a baby pool....

yea, i heard the 1st part somewhere else too! But the poem waz nice.

wow, iv'e never heard the first part before (obviously or it wouldn't be an original) I made it up a while ago, and I put some stuff on a couple sites...maybe somehow it ended up one one of those

I dunno, for some reason I am just no content with how the poem is now...

Anybody got any ideas?

that's good! I don no about it being familiar cos I'm new to the poetry board. :p

Yeah, the beginning sounds familiar to me too....but I do like the poem.

Okay, I like it...don't get me wrong...but I think your spittin out two different ideas...you start off one way...then all of a sudden it's like...nope, didn't like it, so you switch it around...the rhythm is still on, but it's like you went to another idea or feeling...which is good in some cases, but I think you had too fast of a transition and it kinda threw the poem off...I think if you thought about what you were REALLY feeling and what the PATTERN of the poem should be, or what you want it to be, and re-did it...you'd be more satisfied...but it's just my suggestion and my opinion...I don't mean to come off negative...keep trying, it'll flow sooner or later...but it's not THE WORST I've seen, trust me...keep trying~I'm out~

Krissy

i have to agree^^^...nice poem overall though. it had great rhythm.

Originally posted by Linkin02
w00t w00t!

SORRY BUT I THINK THAT'S A LIL FUNNY OF A COMMENT COMIN FROM 1 W/ THAT siggie. BUT THAT'S ME

Lol, yeah...

I don't understand what you mean by the feeling changing? I mean I wrote it all at once and that was what I was feeling at the time so I also don't understand how I could go back and think about what I was really feeling at the time...

I dunno I'm slow...I got straight A's...but nonetheless I am still slow