the shadows fallen with revenge
their innocent souls are raped pure
forsaken death will take control
bestowed away in blackened hearts
a watching eye, forever seeing
hate corrupts their very being
when the depths below are revealed
the gates of death are no longer sealed
releasing death that will destroy
the very exsistence of purity
broken are the chains of love
death will take the lonesome dove
devoured is the lush and living
now the heavens cease their singing
demons restrained will break the chains
life is death, love is pain
instantaneous is destruction
haloes of angels are abducted
fading life converts to evil
secrets dept revealed in bleeding
piercing vines begin to reeve
wounds are sheered, concour the breathing
a deep, dark hole steals the beauty
robbing innocense, forever keeping
the world converted to a hell
where theres living, death will reign
cloaks of kindness will be shed
theres nothing left, the world is dead.

i really liked the image "demons restrained will break the chains."

the rhyming scheme was a little irritating to follow.. maybe make it all one way or not rhyme at all. or you could make very simple patterns for the reader to follow so they dont mix up the rhythm of your poem.

I like it, it's a different message involved in it. 'destroy' and 'purity' don't work as rhyming, and after the line 'life is death, love is pain', which i love that line, rhyming seemed to dissapear altogether. I also like the line 'wounds are sheered, concour the breathing'. But yah, I like the poem, it's really cool.

hey black pheonix! actually i wrote the poem the way i wanted it. i dont usually go by the usual poetical guidlines. i think it makes it more original that way. i got it to a point where i think it sounds good. its just one of those poems that only appeals to certain people. but thanx a lot guys!