.:Vodka.Kisses:.
12-07-2004, 09:36 PM
I'm not sure what to call this, but... it was inspired by a dream I had just an hour or so ago. I assure you that this is EXACTLY how I felt, and I really do think I might've had a near-death expirence, regardless of it being in my imagination. Please excuse the poor punctuation, grammar, and limited vocabulary... I did the best I could.
I remember it all.
The clear blue crystal waves, and the rocking of my body as I swam. I remember watching the masses of blue growing higher and higher up and then yet... even higher. I remember those few seconds of pushing away the doubt and telling myself "It's nothing, it's nothing." But then I can remember the panic. My hope tearing away the insides of my chest and my lungs filling with water. I can remember gasping for breath and fighting the strength of that ocean as if it were my only chance, and in a way, it was. I remember opening my mouth to scream for help, but nothing would come. I can remember jerking my head in all directions, trying desperately to find someone to save me, to search for a way out--- a boat, a person, ANYTHING. But I saw nothing. I remember my breath slipping away so quickly and unbearable fear welling up inside of me. I remember my heart caving in, and my body growing weaker and weaker as I struggled for safety. But most of all I can remember praying.
Praying to a God I don't even believe in. Any god, any higher being, any sort of power that would release me from my distress, from my panic, from my death. I can remember the tears welling in my eyes as it dawned on me that this would be the end. The tale is true-- your life does flash before your eyes the moment before you die. And then, it fell over me like rain, like a bright holy light shining from the sky. I saw a dock, only mere feet from my reach. Safety…the chance to continue with living, only a god damn foot away. It was so near, yet so far all at once, and I kept having to tell myself to fight, even as the hope was slipping, even as I began to sink underneath the ripples, and the time was drawing near. I fought as hard as I could, using every last bit of me that was left to live. And that moment came. My hands took grasp of the edge and weakly pulled me up. Up out of the water, and less than a second away from death. And I weeped for all the pain and I weeped for all the fear and I weeped for the happiness. I weeped for the second chance at life. It was too much to take it all in, I could hardly believe it. I had won this battle, and from it... I have learned one thing.
Never take what you have for granted.
I remember it all.
The clear blue crystal waves, and the rocking of my body as I swam. I remember watching the masses of blue growing higher and higher up and then yet... even higher. I remember those few seconds of pushing away the doubt and telling myself "It's nothing, it's nothing." But then I can remember the panic. My hope tearing away the insides of my chest and my lungs filling with water. I can remember gasping for breath and fighting the strength of that ocean as if it were my only chance, and in a way, it was. I remember opening my mouth to scream for help, but nothing would come. I can remember jerking my head in all directions, trying desperately to find someone to save me, to search for a way out--- a boat, a person, ANYTHING. But I saw nothing. I remember my breath slipping away so quickly and unbearable fear welling up inside of me. I remember my heart caving in, and my body growing weaker and weaker as I struggled for safety. But most of all I can remember praying.
Praying to a God I don't even believe in. Any god, any higher being, any sort of power that would release me from my distress, from my panic, from my death. I can remember the tears welling in my eyes as it dawned on me that this would be the end. The tale is true-- your life does flash before your eyes the moment before you die. And then, it fell over me like rain, like a bright holy light shining from the sky. I saw a dock, only mere feet from my reach. Safety…the chance to continue with living, only a god damn foot away. It was so near, yet so far all at once, and I kept having to tell myself to fight, even as the hope was slipping, even as I began to sink underneath the ripples, and the time was drawing near. I fought as hard as I could, using every last bit of me that was left to live. And that moment came. My hands took grasp of the edge and weakly pulled me up. Up out of the water, and less than a second away from death. And I weeped for all the pain and I weeped for all the fear and I weeped for the happiness. I weeped for the second chance at life. It was too much to take it all in, I could hardly believe it. I had won this battle, and from it... I have learned one thing.
Never take what you have for granted.