Feel the rhythm steal your soul,
with its evil words laced in gold.
Easing you away from your broken life,
as you back down from yet another fight.
You listen to those glorified words,
while your shatterd heart starts to burn.
As you sway to the hypnotizing beat,
your once strong mind is blinded by the defeat.
You drink down their evil sugar coated lies,
as the burning tears glide down from your eyes.
Suffocate on the anger thats bottled up inside,
while your sanity slowly starts to unwind.
Your thoughts are dancing to the haunted sounds,
as your body begins to fall heavily to the ground.
The malice filled words linger in the air,
while your memories pour out of every follicle of your hair.
Quickly those lies fuel the desire lost in your eyes,
burning away the life you have to hide.
Feel that fucking rhythm rape your soul,
with its evil words laced in gold.
~Terra~


what do you think?

:rolleyes: Finally someone who's expressing life and not the typical "omg he stole my heart and broke it" poem.
Good job, I give you a 9 :)

thank you :)

any other opinions?

bump

:rolleyes: Finally someone who's expressing life and not the typical "omg he stole my heart and broke it" poem.
Good job, I give you a 9 :)

i loved it, it made me cry xxxxxx

awwww
thnx

On a scale of one to ten is it possible to give negative marks? I have never, before now, had a reason to use them but now I'm curious as to the fact because I feel otherwise my grading would be somewhat incomplete and lacklustre.

Oh and don't bump this. Allow it to die where it stood like any other dignified person.

and yor reason would be?

beautiful!

thank you :)

it's really good,
i love your word choice!

sounds kind of brutal, and vengeful.
is that what you were going for?

yes it was

and thank you

Hmm, I think the idea behind it is interesting, but for some reason the poem itself wasn't anything special in my eyes. Keep trying <3

thanks

i think its beautiful, very mature. i hate when young people through curse words in just to try to seem dramatic or something but everything in your poem just worked. very well written.

great worde choice
10/10 :)

^_^ thank you

bump

bump