lost.in.translation

Our lungs are begging us to take a breath
too fixated on the taste of cigarettes
we were nothing but two-lips inside a bed
focused only on the past, our futures dead

(always lost in translation)

though karma lingers on, there's nothing left
only bite marks left by strangers on my neck
I can give you what you want, not what you need
because I am nothing more than a machine

these are the first two verses so far. like them?=]

Yep, I like it. I had to read it over a couple of times to get a feel for it. Can I ask what this is about? I have a feeling, but I'd like to know how you meant it.

Also, the line only bite marks left by strangers from the past night on my neck I think should be split up a bit more, it's too long.

its actually a personal thing.
but i wanna hear what u got out of it first! =D
then i'll tell u

Perfect.

To me it sounds like a description of sex without love, but I look forward to you sharing the real meaning with us.

It's okay. I'm nothing more than a machine either, so I can relate.

to me at the beginning it seemed like we rather intoxicate ourselfs ...focousing on the past.... not the future..... and how you have nothing to give .... because of the way you live

sex without love ......

actually its an addiction ... a bad habbit of repeating the past... always living like a machine ..... can never give for the way you live

I really love the poem with one exception:
"though karma lingers like there's nothing left" This line makes no sense to me.

gah u are all little geniuses u read my mind =]
its sex w/out being able to give the love, we were only to lips inside a bed.
no real emotions there.
wow thanks you all, im almost done with the other half =] i really hope i dont let u down

Can you please explain that line to me? =S

OOOps its suppose to be,
"though karma lingers on, there's nothing left"

is that better? lol

Better; the line makes sense now - but I don't see how karma fits in at all - not that I know all that much about karma.

well karma is good karma bad karma, what comes around goes around saying. so usually something always comes back to bite u in the butt, but there not much left that can make him feel anyworse, no such thing as karma any more.. hope that was helpful

well karma is good karma bad karma, what comes around goes around saying. so usually something always comes back to bite u in the butt, but there not much left that can make him feel anyworse, no such thing as karma any more.. hope that was helpfulOh okay - I think it could have been worded better, but I understand now =)

hmm well i will c what i can do. thanx for the feedback =] really really

gah u are all little geniuses u read my mind =]
its sex w/out being able to give the love, we were only to lips inside a bed.
no real emotions there.
wow thanks you all, im almost done with the other half =] i really hope i dont let u down

You are welcome.

this is actually a song.. and im haveing THE hardest time writing a perfect chorus. ha
not sure what it should say or be about....u kno? its piissing me of... i always d o this,,, thats y they are never completely done

this is actually a song.. and im haveing THE hardest time writing a perfect chorus. ha
not sure what it should say or be about....u kno? its piissing me of... i always d o this,,, thats y they are never completely done

Yeah, it can be difficult.

well when ur workin on 3 different things ya it is. ha

well when ur workin on 3 different things ya it is. ha
;]