...read it and tell me what you think. It is written in first person. In my opinion this has to be one of the crappier things I wrote.

Seven Days To Hell (http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2587960)

There is an Intro and Chapter One.

well fuck now it will never get read

That is among one of the worst stories I have ever read.

I think it has lots of potential, but it needs work. First it should sound a little less personal. Mainly where you say 'I know sawed off sounds weird but...' Just take that part out. Also you need better sentence fluency (have a variety of sentence lengths, combine sentences, and start sentences differently). Punctuation would help too. I would be interested in reading it though. If you write more please contact me. Good start though.

In my opinion this has to be one of the crappier things I wrote.

This is one of the gayest things people say when they're scared about posting something for criticism and they're trying to shield themselves. I've you've done so much better stuff then why not post it instead?

Also, now that you've warned me it sucks, I'm not going to bother reading it, thanks.

It's not a bad start, the scenario is created quite well, the images come to mind very quickly. being a horror story a more sinister setting perhaps should be created through indication (e.g smell of death, bite marks on your girl, screams outside)

But one thing you have to stop doing is refrain from using the word "I"

"I’d like to pretend everything is ok. I’d like to pretend that I am back in my bed with my girlfriend at my side. I’d like to pretend that none of this ever happened. I’d like to pretend that they never tried to find that cure…"
-possible excessive use of "I'd like to" same effect with just 'pretend'

'Unfortunately I am stuck in reality. I am sitting in an old abandoned house. I am clutching my girlfriend in my arms. I’m looking down into her eyes.'
- this sentence can easily do without " I am sitting, I am clutching, I'm looking"
-from the start we known it's a first person narrative, it's stressed too much in this sentence
-reads better if it was "Unfortunately I am stuck in reality, sitting in an old abandoned house, clutching my girlfriend in my arms, looking down into her eyes. (short descripition of arms and eyes would make her seem meaningful)

KEEP WRITING!
-Don't let people put you down, keep writing there is nothing better in this world than the written word. FACT
-all civilizations were built on a book.FACT
-the world bank recognises a 4th world, nations and people who aren't even 3rd world(eg Sudan). the 4th world consists entirely of people who don't have a written form for their language.FACT

i quite like it actually :)
yeah it still has some work to be done, but i think it couls become a very good story indeed.
just stay away from the usual stuff you find in horror stories :)

i was really into it until the whole zombie thing started
then i just lost interest
but it was good