Your love is a lie.
Its always been.
But in this battle of hearts
I will win.
Pretending to bring me into you,
only to push me away.
Playing with my emotions,
its obvious our our love was all fake.
You might of broken me,
and now my hearts bleeding
but in the end you'll be the lonely one,
its me you'll be needing.
Broken my heart
and ripped it to shreds.
But now in my heart,
you're already dead. :cry:

Well, I hope some catharsis was achieved through this.

no...emotions don't leave me that easily...i just decided ta show what runs through my head to ppl that don't and never will care

i like it
i can really relate to it

:cry:

i like it
i can really relate to it

thnx...is it normal fer when sum1 hurts u like that...ur heart literally (yes literally) starts to ache and u can't concentrate on anything? i was like that fer a full yr and it stopped but I still miss him and I c his name everywhere....i wish marcus wasn't such a common name :cry:

but why do you all love talking about sad things! :( :cry: please please please it's not that am telling you shan't but ohhhhhhhhhhh this world is already brimming and the polar icecaps are melting and sadnesses are adding up to the bulk of Earth!!!! :( now i am sad

but why do you all love talking about sad things! :( :cry: please please please it's not that am telling you shan't but ohhhhhhhhhhh this world is already brimming and the polar icecaps are melting and sadnesses are adding up to the bulk of Earth!!!! :( now i am sad

chocolate can make u happy fer a little while...until it goes straight to ur hips, thighs, and stomach :cry: I miss chocolate too :(

why qhyyyy have you not eaten sweets for long? oh my i should send you our cocoa fields then xD have you tasted chocnut before?

I havnt eaten (unless u count today when phil forced me to eat sum of his turkey sandwhich cuz I don't really eat) an actual meal in weeks, just a bite here and there

This is good.

Although I think I could do with some editing here and there.

Good work

What I mean is maybe change the language.

ie. "I will win" Could be "I shall be the victor"

Get what I mean

chyea thanx im always looking fer new things in my writing ^_^

That's ok

I havnt eaten (unless u count today when phil forced me to eat sum of his turkey sandwhich cuz I don't really eat) an actual meal in weeks, just a bite here and there

I know its weird that I'm quoting myself but I thought I should inform that I ate something today and i did it out of my free will :)

i love it
and i can realte with the fact i just got dumped this weekend

it's nice
a little sad
but i liked it
Sade x

What I mean is maybe change the language.

ie. "I will win" Could be "I shall be the victor"

Get what I mean

Doing that would eliminate the rhyme, go completely out of rhythm (of which there is none in the first place, but we needn't fuck it further) and just sound pretentious.

This is the problem with 99% of what I read on here. There's too much focus on trying to sound good (i.e. using big words) rather than trying to be good (i.e. metaphors, rhythm, tasteful rhyme, etc.).

I liked it...i wished it was longer and in more depth..you have some writing skills keep em coming :)

wowow tht is a great poem..well done!!

Okay.

Emotion has no place in poetry. You are saying too much about what you think. You have to keep the audience guessing! Don't worry though. There's always room for improvement :)