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View Full Version : why i cry-tell me wat u think


wakawakka
07-07-2008, 05:00 AM
I cry because I know you'll never come home again
It's like I've lost my dearest friend
When you left it felt like the end
I'm trying my best to obtain
But the memories bring back so much pain
You used to be like my cane
Holding me up when I stumbled
But without you I always seem to fumble
Life has become a little more dry
And now you know why I cry

dedicated to my Aunty Anne R.I.Paradise

idomad
07-07-2008, 10:26 PM
Hello. I like it, but you have some weird word usage (fumble) and some of your rhyme seems forced. Keep writing!
IDOMAD