Not yet titled but i'll think of something. This whole poem was rather a spur of the moment idea...
Rather crap and i'd greatly appreciate suggestions to improve it
the rhyming and rhythm of the poem would need some work on

I am the weaver
I am the griever
I break and make many bonds
Glue, feathers and string
Flicking fire- I toil on
In eerie silence- gnawing cold
Begins the legend about to unfold

He was the defeated prisoner
Whom once stood alongside thousands
Swollen with pride- all the vainer
Young, proud and ready to die
Shacked feet- shamfaced- now nowhere to hide
Breaking his back on barren fields
A broken man, no mortal could heal

In his cell I left the woven wings
Yet could they fly? I did not know.
As Dawn rose, the black crept away and life sings
He drew courage and adorned the wings
To all he cried- his moments glory and last show

I am the fighter!
I shall fly free
From these four brick walls
From the stale breeze
I am the martyr!

Higher,higher he soared
And with every flutter
The feathers fell away
And with every passing minute
The strings twisted and snapped
And with the warmth of the sun
The glue melted
And thus the wings fell apart

Horror-stricken faces etched in the crowd
As a glowing silhouette plunged
The Sun on his back-falling gracefully and proud
And on his lips danced a smile

He who would have died
From a broken back and numbing cold
For the greatest gift - his mortal life was sold
And thus- died a free man

Thanks for reading :) opinions?

I'm a little perplexed by this poem...
what exactly is the theme?
I like your word choices btw!

well it's based on the story of Icarus- i think it's greek where the man makes a pair of wing for his son who flies up to the sun but the wings gave way and the son dies.
Then i tried to entwine the idea that there was a prisoner who was a former warrior in a war [lost and now captive] and feels like he has lost his pride and dignity. To redeem it- he had to be a free man and the wings was the way to escape.
However, everything came at a price [freedom] and it came in the form of his life and it is the idea to be the martyr to show it is better to die a free man then to be enslaved for all their life.

I came upon the first theme listening to iron maiden- flight of icarus ;] lol

anyone?

I think the theme of the poem should be more developed in the poem, it does not really stand out that much, but otherwise it is quite a good poem, very good words are uses, they create great images.

thankies
i think i will do that
an extra verse might help it

I think it was really good. Hmm... Icarus... Maybe you should include Daedalus and the Minotaur?
I loved it. Nice wording. Nice rhyming.
I don't know about what other people think- but I think Icarus wouldn't have been happy or proud when he died; I think that he would be miserable and afraid and...
Idk.
The only example of my thoughts on Icarus dying is Kira dying in Deathnote. But you probably haven't read that, so yeah...

deathnote- that anime? i've definately heard it before and have been meaning to watch/read it.

the reason why i left Icarus as a happy person when he died because i think- by being the martyr of showing other prisioners how it is better to die a free man then live as a prisoner.
Since i put him as a warrior before his captivity and was already to die for his beliefs i guess i didn't think dying for his would be so bad- only dying in shame and anonymity would be.

but thanks
i think i will work on it to make my views and why i did it clearer. :)

i still need a title...

Loved it.
Since you're taking requests...
Do one on Orion.
:]

Seriously, it was great.
I do like how you made his death seem more glorious than an embarrassment.

Everything that I think has been said already

But I'm so glad to see someone can use the english language! :D

yes but english language as a subject itself is such a scary scary thing kev XD

thankies
i don't remember taking requests lol
this is my first poem so whether i continue writing like this depends on feedback but if i have the time i would like to :)

brunt.

i dont get the lingo =/

its very good, i like it
the wording is really good

thank you

bump