i wrote this in like march i think?
i dont have a title for it yet, and i also changed a few things in it but anyways here it is.
And i dont know if i didnt anything wrong? or if there is a special way your supposed to write poems, but let me know.
And let me know if theres a few thing s i can change up in it? Or words i can replace.

thanks !


Worthless much?
She could do better
Nobody gives a damn,
She hides in a sweater
Baggy Pants, T shirts that hang off her
She's so ugly, nobody could want her
Thunder thighs, and lying eyes,
Nobody sees that she tries and she tries
Ana is her lover, mia is her best friend
They tell her everyday, she's never going to be thin
That dosent stop her, she will be thin
Even if it means she has to die in the end
Double digits here she comes 98, 97
Shes striving for perfection
Now she finds that her life is much better
She feels so great, as light as a feather
Suddenly strands of hair start falling from her head
Shes so weak, it hurts her to get out of bed
She falls to the floor, shes so fragile and thin
She looked as thin as a pencil
When her mother walked in
She lay there on the floor
Lifeless as could be
From what her mother could see
Now she was free,
Free from the laughter
Free from the hurt,
Free from all the cruel
Things people said to her
Her soul had left, and her
mother screamed and wept
Now she could see all the
secrets she kept
Nobody knew what she really
Went through
Nobody knew what she had gotten herself into
Now shes in a much better place
Joy glows from her beautiful face
Her life is better, and she's happy as can be
She says to herself, now i am free


haha idk about it? but tell me what you think please.

It's really good. I like it a lot. All i have to say is that I don't really know about the " Nobody knew what she really went thorough part." It doesn't sound right but I can't think of how to change it.

oh, ok thankyou for letting me know : ]

if you think of something, just let meknow.

in the mean time ill be doing some thinking too.

im guessing no one else likes it?

does i suck that bad? haha

i like it.
i use 2 be anorexic so i can kinda relate.

whoa



really thats all i can say, i am so dumbstruck by this poem......i mean this all in a good way, srry if it dosen't but just whoa........ i was kinda struggling to get to the end, but that was probably one of the best endings i've ever read, its just like a slap to the face. (i guess i can say more lol) its just a great ending, good alover poem to.....i can't find the words to deeply express this poem lol....

here is a poem that i worte not long ago tell me wat u think?



You mean the world to me
and i wouldnt have it any other way
i need you like the sun needs the moon
your the one that i want to be there
for the finer things and happiest moments
that will come in life as we get older
i may not be barbie or the smartest person in the world
but these feelings that i have consumed are
read as this dream i have been living in
since the day i met you and i want to make
you as happy as you make me everyday
i love you <33

thanks i wasn ttoo sure about it. but guess its ok.

Very, very good idea and story.
Read it out loud.
Some parts don't flow quite right. Try changing some abreviations from I'm to I am, to make it flow. Other than that, fantastic job!

thankyew (:

i actually really like it,
it's very relatable.
great job. :)

thanks !

Wow. I love the topic, and I love the flow of the poem. I'd suggest changing some stuff, but I really really don't want to mess with it. It'd become less powerful. I like the metaphor of Ana and Mia.

But maybe a few line breaks would help.

thanks : )
line breaks?