Feeling feathery light as my feet barely touch the pavement.
Empty stomach.
"You okay Mel?"
I'm fine. Can't she see? I'm flying free.
"Yeah,"
"You don't look it,"
Great, thanks a lot. Resentment pounds my head with muffled blows.
Thud-thud.
"So, whats for dinner?"
Sudden cat-caught-in-trap anger. Ripping through my daydream.
"Mel?"
Dinner-urgh.
Rushing across the road. Footsteps feel heavy now. Bilboard watches me, the grinning woman posed to bite a filling-crammed swandwich. Jone's Wholesome Snacks- aviable at all good supermarkets.
Thud thud thud.
"Mel?! Wait up!"
She's runnning to catch up, breathless like a fish out of water.
The grinning woman floats into my mind. Mouth open, posed to eat. Her toothy smile, menacing now.







Any comments?? Thanks.

no one? lol

i dont get it?

its all confused i dont know what youre trying to say, first i thought you were in a tunnel, then in a hole, then there was a something about you running to get some dinner, the most confusing thing though is the last line, try too put more substance into the paragraphs, not just one or two words. it sounds a bit poetic as well. if its the beginning of a long story try planning it out a bit more, or try a few short storys first, so you get use to putting more information into a small amount of writing =)