Why do you treat like that
While I think how much of a brat
You are to me
Just let me be
I have payed my final fee
Of living in this awful world
Your insults are so hurled

It seems pretty childish in the rhyming and the words that you have chosen. The ending doesn't seem finished either, it's as if you're just picking words off the top of your head just for the sake of it sounding somewhat okay. Just try to think of some bigger words other than me,be,and brat and try to expand your horizons. You might be surprised at what you may find. :)

Originally posted by Konstantine
It seems pretty childish in the rhyming and the words that you have chosen. The ending doesn't seem finished either, it's as if you're just picking words off the top of your head just for the sake of it sounding somewhat okay. Just try to think of some bigger words other than me,be,and brat and try to expand your horizons. You might be surprised at what you may find. :)

i agree with all of that.