As always, she tries to hide.
Everyday she loses her pride.
She tries to confide in what's right,
But no one takes her side.

Someday she'll crack,
And never come back.
She told you she'd do it;
That it was a fact.

I bet you'll feel great
When she's at the bottom of a lake:
Fish bait.
Told you not to fucking wait.

Please let me know what you think!

I liked it

its okay keep workin at poetry & send sum more in

i didnt like it at all....not to be rude...it just seemed like you pulled some of the words out of your ass and there wasnt that great of a flow...i think you can be awesome at poetry but just keep working at it. i like the whole subject of your poem, so keep working on it!

Not too shabby:)

It seemed forced.

Eh... What's with all the poems about suicide lately. I mean... doesn't it seem like you're making it a good thing, by writing about it so much? Like, the person is suddenly the star of your poem, and if they hadn't killed themselves they would have just been ... there?
anyways just thinking aloud



Your poem wasn't all that good... it didn't flow right... work on the wording a little.

i didnt write it, it was my friend's and she wanted to know what ppl thought. so if u dont like it, no skin off my back.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
lol...suurrreeeee. anyways, i didnt like it. It sounds like some wannabe rap or something. it was retarded.

That was kind of boring but it was kool i guess I read a little bit but then stoped cause i dunno just work from the heart not the mind!

That is how I feel right now, I loved it. :)

Really?
Maybe it related to you?
It was okay though.

No, it was not related to me.