PLEASE READ AND TELL ME WHAT YOU HONESTLY THINK!!! THANKS!!!


How do you avoid the misery that always seems to persevere?
and you know its always going to exist.
How can I take away the clouded mess in my head and make it all clear? There is always that one little twist.

As the blade goes deeper into my skin
I can see the blood continueously begin to flow.
Theres no way to avoid what has already started to begin,
and not because I said so.

My skin becomes so loose,
as the blood continues to flow,
and there is no excuse.
The scars I can not show.

I begin to bleed and bleed,
as the blood continues to pour.
I start to plead and plead,
As I slowly hit the floor.

I realize that this time I went to far,
all thats left is a flood,
not even the hideous scar,
Just a big puddle of Blood.

sort the layout out, and i will read it.

THAT IS SO COOL!!!!ITS DARK,I LOVE IT.DO YOU HAVE ENY MORE STUFF LIKE THAT??????

Um, is it supposed to be a short story or poem? Poems are supposed to be aligned, not in paragraph form...

aww thanks! yea i have a ton of stuff like that lol

Pretty good. Now read mine and see what you think. ^^

i feel a little nauseaus (sp?)

"I begin to bleed and bleed,
as the blood continues to pour."

You can't begin to bleed when the blood is already pouring. I didn't like it, it sounds like every other "Gothic" poem on here.

thanks for your opinion tho!

MORBIDPEACE,WOULD YOU MIND SHARING MORE OF YOUR WORK?????I DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT POEMS ,BUT I DID LIKE YOURS.PLEASE POST MORE OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANKS KKL24

Terrible.

"I begin to bleed and bleed,
as the blood continues to pour."

You can't begin to bleed when the blood is already pouring. I didn't like it, it sounds like every other "Gothic" poem on here.

totally agree
I feel like I have read this poem a thousand times before.
Originality is priceless