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missery13
12-10-2006, 12:48 PM
She went downstars
a tear in her eye
a rope hung from the cieling
prepared to die

A note tacked to the wall
she stood on the chair
rope round her neck
lost in a prayer

tell him i'm sorry
tell him i caved
I didn't truly want
to simply fade away.

She prepared to step off
but then with a start
she heard the phone
and she searched her heart

To jump off and die
or answer the call
to talk to a friend
or take the fall

she slipped off the rope
and put it away
she ran up the stairs
leaving her suicidal note to stay

On the other end
was her friend Joyce
she whispered these words
with fear in her voice:

"Your exboyfriend is gone
he left his house with a knife
apparently he said, 'without her
i don't want life."

She hung up the phone
love filling her heart
she was happy he too
wasn't happy apart

Buth then with a gasp
she lefft her home with a fright
i have to save him
before he dies tonight.

I love him too
more than words can say
I can't believe
we've been living this way

She left in her car
afraid she would cry
She had to save him
she didn't want him to die

After she left
to her house came her man
He came to see her
a knife in his hand

He came to ask her
a final request
if she didn't love him
he'd put the knife in his chest

But she said she did
feel the same way
then the glimmering knife
would be cast away

her door was left open
so inside he goes
searching for the girl
with the cute button nose

He calls through the house
but he hears no sound
the girl that he loves
is not to be found

So he goes to the basement
and sees a note on the wall
he weeps to himself
as he reads it all:

"I love him the most
he was the one
he took all my sad times
and he made them fun

He completed me
and held me together
we should've been
together forever.

But then something happened
we faded away
so we decided to leave
rather than stay

but to this i think
what a foolish mistake
we were the stuff
of which love was made

So now i realize
it is my time to go
for my heart is shattered
and i just know

i will never love
another boy like him
for any other love
would be grief filled and grim

So here's goodbye
to all those i knew
because i know
there's no life without you."

The boy wiped tears from his eyes
he thought she had gone on ahead
he thought that she
was now already dead

"This is my fault
that she is gone
I should've come sooner
but now her life is done."

He stood as he
inserted the knife with a pound
his heart stopped beating
before he hit the ground

meanwhile his love
drove through the night
she wandered and searched
filled up with fright

she checked all the roads
he wasn't there
she went to his home
she looked everywhere

she came home for a moment
to call for some help
as she went downstairs for the phone
she let out a yelp

Her love laid there
limp on the ground
she was too shocked
to make any sound

she knelt and saw
her note in his fist
she saw the knife in his heart
and his face in a twist

She realized he thought
she had committed suicide
he thought she was gone
so he had died.

"It's all my fault
that it ended this way
so now on this earth
i can no longer stay."

She pulled out the knife
still dripping with blood
stabbed herself in the heart
and hit the ground with a thud.

The moral i have
for this story today
is to not let your love
to just fade away.





thnx for reading!!!!!!!!! (in my siggy theres another poem I made;] )

Oatmeal_is_yummy
12-10-2006, 01:16 PM
OH MY GOODNESS... what a beautiful poem, that is true love.

Im going to put this link in my Favourites ( dont worry im not going to use your poem, i just want to read it) lol...


wow good job..

patch_girl
12-10-2006, 02:07 PM
*real tears* this poem is PERFECT!!! I luv it....

my-chemical-emotion
12-10-2006, 02:31 PM
im soo put off by the fact that its so long ...

but it IS very good.

dotie
12-10-2006, 03:26 PM
It is really long. But I love the whole idea.
Certain parts weren't interesting to me (maybe that's not the right phrasing. There were certain parts that I think you tried too hard to keep the rhyme and rhythm.)

but I love :
"It's all my fault
that it ended this way
so now on this earth
i can no longer stay."

my-chemical-emotion
12-10-2006, 03:45 PM
agreed.

MissUnknown
12-10-2006, 04:56 PM
wow... that was twisted

missery13
12-10-2006, 05:11 PM
thanks everyone! lol and yes most of my poems are twisted MissUnkown

scoopie
12-10-2006, 08:31 PM
i almost cried. literally. it was so sad and beautiful. but most of all a great poem.

LexahPink
12-10-2006, 10:04 PM
She went downstars
a tear in her eye
a rope hung from the cieling
prepared to die

A note tacked to the wall
she stood on the chair
rope round her neck
lost in a prayer

tell him i'm sorry
tell him i caved
I didn't truly want
to simply fade away.

She prepared to step off
but then with a start
she heard the phone
and she searched her heart

To jump off and die
or answer the call
to talk to a friend
or take the fall

she slipped off the rope
and put it away
she ran up the stairs
leaving her suicidal note to stay

On the other end
was her friend Joyce
she whispered these words
with fear in her voice:

"Your exboyfriend is gone
he left his house with a knife
apparently he said, 'without her
i don't want life."

She hung up the phone
love filling her heart
she was happy he too
wasn't happy apart

Buth then with a gasp
she lefft her home with a fright
i have to save him
before he dies tonight.

I love him too
more than words can say
I can't believe
we've been living this way

She left in her car
afraid she would cry
She had to save him
she didn't want him to die

After she left
to her house came her man
He came to see her
a knife in his hand

He came to ask her
a final request
if she didn't love him
he'd put the knife in his chest

But she said she did
feel the same way
then the glimmering knife
would be cast away

her door was left open
so inside he goes
searching for the girl
with the cute button nose

He calls through the house
but he hears no sound
the girl that he loves
is not to be found

So he goes to the basement
and sees a note on the wall
he weeps to himself
as he reads it all:

"I love him the most
he was the one
he took all my sad times
and he made them fun

He completed me
and held me together
we should've been
together forever.

But then something happened
we faded away
so we decided to leave
rather than stay

but to this i think
what a foolish mistake
we were the stuff
of which love was made

So now i realize
it is my time to go
for my heart is shattered
and i just know

i will never love
another boy like him
for any other love
would be grief filled and grim

So here's goodbye
to all those i knew
because i know
there's no life without you."

The boy wiped tears from his eyes
he thought she had gone on ahead
he thought that she
was now already dead

"This is my fault
that she is gone
I should've come sooner
but now her life is done."

He stood as he
inserted the knife with a pound
his heart stopped beating
before he hit the ground

meanwhile his love
drove through the night
she wandered and searched
filled up with fright

she checked all the roads
he wasn't there
she went to his home
she looked everywhere

she came home for a moment
to call for some help
as she went downstairs for the phone
she let out a yelp

Her love laid there
limp on the ground
she was too shocked
to make any sound

she knelt and saw
her note in his fist
she saw the knife in his heart
and his face in a twist

She realized he thought
she had committed suicide
he thought she was gone
so he had died.

"It's all my fault
that it ended this way
so now on this earth
i can no longer stay."

She pulled out the knife
still dripping with blood
stabbed herself in the heart
and hit the ground with a thud.

The moral i have
for this story today
is to not let your love
to just fade away.





thnx for reading!!!!!!!!! (in my siggy theres another poem I made;] )





OMG!!!! its so sad and beautiful at the same time.:( :eek: you my friend have a way with words.... truely

taylorTOXIC
12-10-2006, 11:17 PM
that is amazing, it really is.
but it sounds like something i would read in a myspace bulliten >.>

missery13
12-11-2006, 05:37 PM
thank you thank you *bows* :)

cherries0720
12-29-2006, 08:39 PM
nice job..
its so sad.. i loved it...
it took forever to read.. but it was worth it.. very nice job....

Latter_day_Teenager
12-29-2006, 08:45 PM
Very nice, I could point out a few spelling errors, but the plot was excellent.
Please read my book, if you have any spare time:
http://www.teenspot.com/boards/showthread.html?t=364225
or go to the following sight:
http://www.personal-libary.piczo.com

TheDarkPopper
12-29-2006, 08:47 PM
I like it, actually, mainly because you told a story instead of relying and easy cliches.

ViolinChick09
12-30-2006, 07:28 PM
Nice job...It's so very Romeo and Juliet. I have always loved that story and I love this poem. Keep it up kid, you have a career!

Jasmine-Rose
12-30-2006, 08:15 PM
i love it its like a modern romeo and juliet!