I cried tears bitter with salt,
Upon lips that could only ever decieve,
You were beautiful cloaked amoungst your confusion
Your inner darkness forever consuming,

You appeared so brave amoung the chaos,
So calm; so free, i almost believed it,
I never would have known you were tied to your pain,
Unless; i never felt your fists upon my flesh,

Did my suffering distract you from your own,
Caging my soul, my love, with such torment,
Did it make you love me any less,
That i had not the strength to leave,

Or did you hate me for the hope hidden within,
That tomorrow wouldn't be as dark as today,
Where the sorrow wouldn't sing so loud,
And you would remember i had been faithful.



I haven't writen in awhile, so i might be a bit rusty! Anyway; feedback would be great, good or bad! Thanks guys!

all good, but when i read the first line, it didnt ... clikc what you put and in my head it read ... i cried tears of bitter salt ...

it was good. u kinda lost me in the middle tho. u had a lot of emotion at the begginng then towards the end i was kinda lost as a reader.

overall... C+

keep it up...

you like giving out grades dont you ... do you wana be a teacher ?

no. im just really into poetry. i hate school so teachin is not me....

Thanks guys! Like i said i haven't writen in awhile, so this was a tad bit thrown together! But thank you all for your replies!

*Cheers*