These poems give an insight into my past and some of my hopes for the future.
I don't mind critism if it is constructive.

No i am not emo, these poems were just shedding some light on things in my past and how i went about dealing with those things.

I am happy to say although i am not fully recovered i am proudly on my way to overcoming things and turning all of my negatives into positives.

Wanting To Die

There's nothing left to live for
So I'm putting this to an end
All the thing's wrong in my life
Are just way to hard to mend
So I'm saying goodbye to you now
I know I won't be missed
This temptation to leave
Is completly impossible to resist
There's just nowhere to go
No one that show's they care
When I'm gone will you even realise it?
Or will you not even notice I'm not there?
Well I guess that doesn't matter now
I'm soon to be forever gone
But I hope that I won't be forgotten
And this note you will pass on
I just can't take it anymore
This world is such an unforgiving place
But when I'm gone, promise you'll think of me
Keep memories of when I had a smile on my face
Not as I am now
Broken down and nearly dead
Just don't forget everything I tried to teach you
And everything I said
Don't cry for me at all
When I'm no longer here
Remember it was my choice to leave
Don't let yourself shed a tear
I wanted to escape
Now I'm finally gone
I won't have to live in sorrow
Every day, all day long
I'm going to a better place
Where I'll finally rest in peace
And I won't have anymore pain,
When I die it will be released
Remember when I'm gone this wasn't your fault
Don't you ever cry
This is all my doing
It's me who's wanting to die

Anorexia Nervosa

I know they can't feel my hurt
For my hurt is deep
A hurt which leads to destroying
Me

People wonder what's happening
To me
Can't they see?
I want to reach out to them
But they seem so far away

The pain and confusion i feel
It leads me along the path
The path that leads to nowhere
Except to killing me!

So please someone help me
Your help may not seem wanted
But don't abandon me
I need you
I want to break away
To rid myself of this pain

If only i could stop myself
My minds taken over
Do i realise the harm i'm causing
Myself?

So anyone out there
Who feel's my same hurt
Remember that you are not alone
You can fight your hurt
I fought mine
And i won

Never Gonna Be Ok

As i sit here with these paper's in front of me
Telling me that I'm sick
That I'm not ok
I can't help but think
Why does it have to be this way?
It may sound selfish
Inconsiderate and cruel
But why me?
Why not someone who's a fool?
This illness they call it
Is eating me whole
Not mentally but physically
I can't reach my goal
I wanna give up
But I must stay strong
I must stay tough
Will I be better
No one really know's
They keep telling me I will
But it never goes
It just dwell's inside of me
Waiting to eat me whole
Each day I am weaker
And that's how it goes
I will never give in
I will not let it win
I don't wanna see my family sad
Don;t wanna cause them pain
I just wanna feel gain
So i sit here and curse
This illness of mine
Which now I know
Will never be fine

Prayer For The Living

Why does the thought of death
The feeling of ending this life
The torture, the pain, the hurt
The discomfort i cause,
Why does it feel so right?

But the thought of pain
The mechanic's, the method
The how's and wherefore's...
Why is that so beyond me,
My abilities, My confidence?

I know I would be better dead
All I care for is other's
All I do is hurt other's
All I want to do is leave other's
To their live's away from me

Is my inability from caring?
knowing the final act of hurt
The final abilty to screw other's
To give those who really care
A pain I haven't done before?

But they would recover
And they could see it was done
Maybe not consiously, but truely
For the best for them
And therefore the best for me.

Is it fear that stop's me?
The inabilty to take the pain
I couldn't inflict on myself
The yellow woman I am,
The quitter, never finishing the job

So i carry on to conceal feeling's
Trying to do all I can for all
And I still hurt and give pain
Cause confusion wherever I go
That is why I pray to die.

Yesterday Girl

Tomorrow seemed so far away,
Tomorrow never came.
Tomorrow took your heart away,
And i'm the one to blame.

Yesterday was happiness,
Yesterday was bliss.
Yesterday never told me,
That love would end like this.

I see you in the summer sun,
Reaching for her hand.
I see the loving looks,
As you wander through the sand.

You look at me and then turn away,
Just as if to say.
This is my tomorrow girl,
You were my yesterday.

This was written by my older sister Lyndell


She was only nine.

My baby sister, so full of life, was only nine when you touched her
You took her to bed with no-one knowing.
You touched her many times and scarred her for life.
She has never been the same because of you.
You violated her trust with every thrust.
How could you do that to someone so sweet?
Making her afraid of almost every male she meets
She was so depressed because of you.
She tried to kill herself, too bad it wasn't you.
You didn't go to jail or even get in trouble.
My little sister so full of life is only 16 and has tried to end her life.
I hoped someday you would go to jail and everyone would find out what you did
You took her innocence, you took her happiness, all she did was cry.
Seven years later you still haunt her in her sleep...

I told you my comments on the other ones, but for "Yesterday Girl," I think you did a great job with the rhyming. Most people make it seem forced, but yours was just right. Also, very nice job on the imagery in the third stanza; it helped me see the picture clearly.

Your sister's poem gets the point across very well and you can really feel the emotion, which is great.

:hug: Great poems, Amy!

Omg those poems were really gd but yesturday girl and she was only nine were the best
there really sweet an like wat watchayakan said it does get a msg across to everyone.

Thank you LiLEvL01, i was unsure about putting only nine up as it gives much more insight into what ive been through then i would ideally like people to know.

Amy, your poems are amazing, Prayer For A Living is the best out of them all, and your sisters one is very good indeed. :)