I need your warm kiss
On my cold lips
But she stares at me in the cold, icy rain
Staring at me with that cold darkness

Oh, please save me from this enigma
Because I don't know
Oh, please save me from this personal Hell

Who do I choose?
I was left alone in the dark in a world full of pain
Why?
Why must you do this to me?
Please save me

The pain stabs me in the heart
My heart is bleeding
It flows like a puddle
Oh, the pain of a heart that hurts

Please save me
I love you
But what is love?
Don't hurt me, baby
Oh yeah

Hmm, your descriptions are plain and too obvious, the first two lines for example. You probably repeated the same word two or three times in a stanza to place emphasis on it, but it looks as if you couldn't be bothered to think of a better one.

The last stanza annoys me. The oh so cliche line 'but what is love?' :eek2: and the 'oh yeah' - if this is not a song, then it's just insignificant speech.

mm.you've got some ideas.. but they are messy.

Your pants are messy.

probably :)