through loves eyes

she looks at him with a feeling of hate,
a feeling that he can not relate.
she looks at him deep in the eyes,
and that is when he begins to cry.
he cries because he knows he is going to die.
i thought you loved me, can't you see,
you promised me the world,
you promised me everything.

she lifts the gun as he pleads,
but the pleading means nothing you see.
2 shots were fired one for him and one for me!!
be careful for u might die,, b/c love is the slowest form of suicide!!

rEALLY REAallly good!
Has a lot of emotion!

It's better than I could do.

i kno i love this poem b/c it shows you that love can be blind!! there's a fuller version i wrote but i'm lazy !! lol!!

Well at first read I loved it, the second one I didnt think it was as good, although I still think its real good. I LOVED the ending, I thought that was great, although I dont think you made it clear of what happend. Which is why I really would love to read the longer version, I wonna hear more.

I really Like This Poem

thanxs!!! when i actually have the time to write the full one i will!! sry!!

That was really great, what made u think of that?

bored and i write stuff,, it just comes to me!!!

Aye. Very good. Aye.I agree. Indeed. Of course.

That was good... mechanically, I mean.
Um, don't want to offend u or any1 I just wanna give some advice, is all. lol.

My question is: Was that based on real life--and event that actually happened to you? If not, I reccomend writing works that come from reality, so that has all of your heart put into it. Other than that, I thought it was awesome. Keep it up




~Why did you leave? I didn't get to kiss :lilkiss: you goodbye :wavin: .
If I could, I would spread my wings and find you, but these wings aren't meant for findin. *How do think I lost you?~

thanx i love the feed back!!!

Oh. Sorry, i just don't like it. I only read it briefly, and i just looked at the other comments, and they were good, so i said, what the heck, and... Well, iguess it shows us not to jump to conclusions, eh?
No worries!

um that was mean!!!

Lol. And falloutgirl, you are writing too quickly. Faster then me!

And, Oliver is a better name than tristan!

is ur name oliver?

Sadly, yes. Oliver IS a bad name, i've just been told.Sigh...

lol... sigh.. shrug... i love you!! lol!! j/k so ur from the uk?? wat part??

How do you know im from the uk? i guess tearcatcher told you, the conspirator. Actually, im from London

ur name said uk!!!

Huh... I knew that... And please slow down! Now there are three people commenting... it would make my job so much easier if you did

k

lol

so wat's up??