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KSB88
03-13-2006, 01:37 PM
Please hold on,
Please stay strong,
Please don't do nothin that is oh so wrong.
Yeah life is hard, life is cruel,
But remember one thing, that ain't no reason ta go act a fool.
Hearts will hurt and mistakes will be made,
But da worst is a curse that'll be a debt still unpaid.
So runnin won't help, ignorin' won't solve,
Facing and dealing it will help break da fall.
Ta prevent da curse,
Of da worse,
From happenin at all.
Just hold on tight,
And continue ta fight,
With all ur might,
Eventually ur sight,
Will come back some night.
Bringing u da light,
Needed ta do right.
So hold ur head up high,
Don't break down and cry,
Continue and try,
And eventually all da pain and strife,
Will go away from this time in ur life.

KSB88
06-05-2006, 02:45 AM
Damn, no one ever rated this poem. I posted this so long ago I don't even remember when.

IndividualityDilemma
06-05-2006, 11:26 AM
It's okay, however in these lines:

"Just hold on tight,
And continue ta fight,
With all ur might,
Eventually ur sight,
Will come back some night.
Bringing u da light,
Needed ta do right."

... the last word keeps rhyming. There's too many rhyming words for "tight" you seriously don't need that many; it ruins the poem and it doesn't make the poem flow the way it should. Keep trying :)