It's in the form of an Anglo-Saxon poem, so it's free verse, has four beats per line, a caesural pause in the middle of each line, and incessant alliteration. Yeah...just felt like sharing that.


The lady languished, loosened her braids.
The curls slipped out, slid down her back,
Golden, like grain, on her gossamer gown.
She smiled softly as she sat in the shade
Of a blossoming branch ’neath the bowl of blue.
Her knight would return – she had no worry.
“Wait here,” he’d said, “my weary darling.”
Oh, he was proper, a man of propriety,
That handsome redeemer in the radiant armor
That lit her life and lifted her fears.
He’d slain the dragon, drugged the drab guards,
To rescue the maiden meek and modest.
Now she listened – they were not near,
That glowing god and his gleaming steed.
The darkness would come, deep with despair.
She called and cried for her kindly savior;
Only the wistful winds whispered in reply.

i liked it, it's got an interesting theme to it!! i also saw some hidden meanings, like love and dedication. props!!

Thank you.

Nice tone, though I thought a tad cheesey in some parts. You could experiment with the colour contrasts if you wanted, perhaps to get a better balance of the romantic side of the piece, a little too much gold connotations in there but evocative, certainly clear.

Thanks. Haha...it is cheesy. Everything I write tends to be.

I wish I could have been more descriptive and experimented with adjectives and such, but it's for a school assignment and I had to write it in a pretty strict format. :slash:

I am completely against predetermined formal structure. That's why I don't like writing for school assignments. There's no freedom or creativity involved.

But this is decent. If it had rhymed, it'd sound so much better though especially with the alliteration backing it up.

That brings back such fond memories of Beowulf :P

I guess you had to stick to Anglo-Saxon themes and gender roles, as well? I don't really like the damsel in distress image, because it's pretty sexist and all, but if your goal was to portray the ideas of the time, it was fairly acurate.

I like the ending. Dissapointment makes things more interesting than "and they lived happily ever after like Barbie and Ken."

Good work, thou swarthy Saxon knave!

But this is decent. If it had rhymed, it'd sound so much better though especially with the alliteration backing it up.
Thanks. One of the rules was that it shouldn't rhyme. :(


That brings back such fond memories of Beowulf :P

I guess you had to stick to Anglo-Saxon themes and gender roles, as well? I don't really like the damsel in distress image, because it's pretty sexist and all, but if your goal was to portray the ideas of the time, it was fairly acurate.

I like the ending. Dissapointment makes things more interesting than "and they lived happily ever after like Barbie and Ken."

Good work, thou swarthy Saxon knave!
Beowulf is quite the page-turner. :yawn:

Well, I didn't have to stick to Anglo-Saxon themes, but it did help me write it more easily. Gracias, Christina. :)

Really good. I didn't think it was cheesy at all. And the ending was really good too. I hate those happily ever afters. Psh.

Splendid that someone is still using the old forms. The do lend themselves to corny-ness, don't they? I liked it.