I worry that one day I'll wake and your scent will no longer reside on my pillow.

I live from a perfume bottle from which you sprayed,
What shall happen the day it runs out and your fingerprints erased.


I worry that one day I close my eyes and your face does not appear etched on my lids to watch me fall to sleep.

The image on my pocket communicator just a moment snapped from history,
And to this day, where you were; a mystery.


[Feigning completion.]


I worry that one day shall be the last day I hear the melodic beauty of your voice.

How to live without the thought to keep one going,
The depair that awaits rests to-ing and fro-ing.


I worry that my longing for your touch just might never be fulfilled.

Oh, what if the power of my wishes pushes you away from my presence as such,
I may never write in pleasure beneath your fingertip's touch.


[Feigning what is not.]


I worry not what I may forget.


I worry that one day you will be nothing to me but a memory.

I had to read that over a few times in order for it to sink in fully. I finished it the first time with my jaw down by my ankles. It is, without doubt, the best, most natural peice I've encountered on these boards so far.

There is, however, one thing that bugs me.

"How will one live without the thought to keep one going,
The depair that awaits one rests to-ing and fro-ing"

I am always a fan of referring to ones self as 'one', but the fact that you've used it three times in two lines makes it a little choppy to read. Saying it over in my mind, it sounds good without the 'one' in the second line. "The despair that awaits rests to-ing anf fro-ing"

Just a suggestion. Otherwise, a brilliant peice.

I really liked this piece, and if anything has to be commented on, it's how it drags on a little bit, but basically, it's a great piece and u should keep writing!
Ellie :) :D ;) ;]

I really liked this piece, and if anything has to be commented on, it's how it drags on a little bit, but basically, it's a great piece and u should keep writing!
Ellie :) :D ;) ;]

blah ^^^^^^^^^^^

You are the only one that I will let see
What I have always hidden inside me
Yet when you're not here
For my life I fear
I am seeking you're true love
To set me free like a dove
Snow white wings
For saoring over things
But I have fallen from the sky
And there I will die
Yet one last stare
One last breath of air
And i shall die thinking of You
To only u i will always be true

Of all that i've hated,
nothing compared to you.
Of all that i've felt,
nothing came close to you.
Of all that i've seen,
they all have seemed to be you.
of all the pain,
it was all caused by you.
All my breaths,
have been only for you.
Of all that i loved,
nothing, nothing has come close to you

I normally dont like dependency pieces like this but this imparticular was pretty cool...only thing is in the first few lines you wrote "what shall hapen the day it runs out and your fingerprints erased"...you could write "your fingerprints are erased"....but maybe you wrote that intentionally either way it sounds awsome...keep writing

I had to read that over a few times in order for it to sink in fully. I finished it the first time with my jaw down by my ankles. It is, without doubt, the best, most natural peice I've encountered on these boards so far.

There is, however, one thing that bugs me.

"How will one live without the thought to keep one going,
The depair that awaits one rests to-ing and fro-ing"

I am always a fan of referring to ones self as 'one', but the fact that you've used it three times in two lines makes it a little choppy to read. Saying it over in my mind, it sounds good without the 'one' in the second line. "The despair that awaits rests to-ing anf fro-ing"

Just a suggestion. Otherwise, a brilliant peice.

Thanks so much, I took your advice and edited it. Also thanks for the other comments minus the idiots randomsoul and bloodredroses who don't know what the 'new thread' button does.

i really liked it, it was simple, but also very meaningful, good work!! ;P