another part of the story I started... it's a little later on .... i skipped stuff

Nadarius quickly turned, just in time to see a girl launching at him, a knife in her hand. He ducked but was a second too late as her fist connected with the side of his face. He stumbled back for a moment then growled unintelligably under his breath and pulled out his sword. For a moment she went still, staring at him, and he cursed under his breath. She was a shifter. Suddenly a hunting cat was leaping toward him, he lifted the sword, slicing across it's front leg but not seriously injuring it. Again a girl stood there and he took his chance, lunging toward her, his knife dragging across her leg as he grabbed her arm and pulled it up behind her. If he could immobilize her he could keep her from being able to shift.

He dug around in his waist pouch and suddenly she changed into a cobra. He pulled out a small needle filled with a paralyzing venom made for capturing prisoners and stuck it into the belly of the snake. It instantly went still and Nadarius rubbed the side of his face with his hand. Looking up at the stormy sky he sighed. He wasn't a killer and it was about to snow heavily. He picked up the snake and carried it to a cave nearby. Luckily a deer crossed his path and he shot it with an arrow. He deposited the girl-snake in the cave and went and retrieved the deer and some firewood. By the time he got back it was snowing heavily and the girl was back in her own form, though still not able to move much.

*grins* I'll leave it at that... :eek2:

Slightly too many changing forms in there, but interesting character of a shape shifter. Evocative. Clear imagery in the fight scene. Good supsense in there too, lovely narrative.

i liked hte fight seen very discrive words to make u no whats going on. there were a few parts that u could have reworded and i might have sounds a bit better
ex.He wasn't a killer and it was about to snow heavily.
that could have used reworded

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
shy baby girl