I can't believe your dead.
I want to be with you.
Now.
I want to see you again.
But I'm too scared...
Too uncertain.
I don't know if this is worth it.
I don't know if I really care.
All I'm going to do is cause problems
That have no need to be there.
So I'll try and make it through these minutes.
Through these stupid hours and days.
Because somewhere deep down
I can here you say
"You will make it on without me.
You can make it through this day.
Somehow you'll be okay. Just try."
So I will.
I'll try.
I just really want to be in your arms tonight.

See--this is they way you express your pain in a healthy way. Look at all the emotion you put into your art, it's devestating and beautiful all at the same time. Don't threaten to kill yourself, just remember what you wrote in this poem.