My first poem that I actually titled. Called Death's Invitation. (I felt violent)
I know it doesn't make sense, but hey, that's what happens when I get mad. Meh. Comments welcome.

I got an invitation
And was surprised to see,
After all these years,
You still remember me.

It was an odd invitation;
Written in red,
And- in the front picture
The person was dead.

There was no number to call,
If I couldn’t make it;
‘You knew I would come’,
I guess I should take it.

There were detailed instructions
On how to get there.
Invitations like this
Are ever so rare.

I followed those instructions
Careful as can be.
Your door was locked;
So I took out my key.

My key fit right in,
I pushed open the door.
And stepped into the room-
A room with no floor!

As I was falling,
My necklace caught on a nail.
And then I saw you-
You’d grown horns and a tail.

I heard an evil sound and
Realized: it was your laugh.
As I hung there choking,
And death came at last.

I'm leaving now, but I'll read the comments later. (Note, why did you talk me into posting another one?)

Aww Heather. *Big hugs*

I love it, it's very emotive and I certaintly felt it. Very upsetting though. It made sense to me, just so you know. I talked you into it because I love your poems a lot.

My key fit right in, = fitted right in?

Very emotive, though allegedly quite dark, yet with beautifully woven contrast with the necklace and the nail. Good job :)

I think it's an expression gramatically ok in USA/Canada, because I've heard others use phrases like that, without the 'ed'. Maybe it's just slang? :shrug:

Ah ok :shrug:
Maybe :) Though I haven't heard phrases like that until now =)

i didnt like the narrative of the poem, but the rhythm was good, reminded me of Vachel Lindsay's - "The Congo"

My key fit right in, = fitted right in?

Ya, I guess it's only said over here. If it's bothering you I'll change it.

Thanks for everyone's comments. Anything I could improve?

Aww Heather. *Big hugs*

I love it, it's very emotive and I certaintly felt it. Very upsetting though. It made sense to me, just so you know. I talked you into it because I love your poems a lot.

In all fairness, I warned you that it wasn't a nice poem. I found nicer ones, but it's too late to post them now...oh well.

:hug: sorry.

No, I enjoyed it, I like poems like this just as much as I like happy ones.

That's good, 'cause it didn't work at taking out my anger. I also wrote a paragraph(not sad), but it didn't work either. I might write another poem later, but I'm gunna stop blabbing on and on now, 'cause I'm not making sense any more...

um..wow!!...what can i say??.... well it was superb!!!!
very well written, thought out rhyming exc...
it was sad, dark, depressing whatever..you wrote what you felt and i give you high fives for that!!
every line got me closer and closer and kept the anticipation up on each line and stanza..like i said before it was Superb!!

um..wow!!...what can i say??.... well it was superb!!!!
very well written, thought out rhyming exc...
it was sad, dark, depressing whatever..you wrote what you felt and i give you high fives for that!!
every line got me closer and closer and kept the anticipation up on each line and stanza..like i said before it was Superb!!

Thank you. :)