in the morning
i will try to remind you
of the irony of things

when we awake
in a strange bed
in my mother's house
and you make coffee
in my father's kitchen

in the morning
i will try to forget
this moment

when my plan b
fails at the whim
of a faint heart
and you leave
as quickly as you came

in the morning
i will do my best
to understand

when my brother
looks at me
like he wishes
he didn't hate
what he sees

Jesus, what the hell are u writing about?

When I first read the title, I thought it to be something to do with depression or something similar. But you have drawn a clear outline of the tension there in the poem, but to me, it felt as though it could've done with some more twang in there. Unless of course, mental health is a metaphor for Life.. ?

Why thank you for your eloquent and inspiring comment. It is greatly appreciated.

^^^That was directed to the first comment.


Aurabell, I understand what you mean about it needing more 'twang.' It was originally longer with more detail, but it seemed like it had too many 'extra' words in it. So I eventually decided to cut it down to the essential meaning without all of the filler. And as far as the metaphors, there are no metaphors here whatsoever. It is actually quite literal.

Still, I appreciate your comments, as usual.

***And I'm glad to be back on the site, as well.***

Ah right ok =) well :hug: anyways welcome back. But it was a worthwhile piece to write, conveying the tension in there. Anyway. :)