one of my best friend's wrote this and he doesn't think its any good. but i love it! he was heart broken when he wrote it. here goes:

ELUDED DREAMS

i can't remember when it was good
moments of happiness elude
maybe i just misunderstood
all of the love we left behind
watching the flashbacks intertwine
memories will never find.
so i'll love whatever you become
and forget the reckless things we've done.
i think our loves have just begun
and i'll feel my world crumbling
i'll feel my life crumbling
i'll feel my soul crumbling away
and falling away with you.
staying awake to chase a dream
tasting the air your breathing in
i know i won't forget a thing
promise to hold you close and pray
watching the fantasies decay
nothing will ever stay the same
all of the love we threw away
and all of the hopes we cherished fade
making the same mistakes again.

well there you go. just tell me what you think.
jessica

It was good. Could do with some illustration, but it was good =)

There was one line that struck me, and that was 'staying awake to chase a dream'
That line alone is brilliant, but the rhyme scheme in this leaves a little to be desired. A little choppy, but it has unbelievable potential.

as stated above, choppy, abruptly choppy and the first part sounded like a Hallmark card
not very cohesive, melodromatic