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xSeptembersxEndingx
07-04-2005, 01:24 PM
Spare me the details.
I'd rather not know how you became this.
Spare me the life I have left.

I'd rather not hear all your troubles.
Glimpse into your life.
Of all the lies that consume you.

Blocking out the dim light.
You bleed out regret, showing no remorse.
Hide your face, hide your pain.

Spare me all the details.
How you love me, break me.
Because your words shatter what I believe.

You have become masked from reality.
Into a blinding fantasy, dreaming of the pain you bring on.
Spare me the life I want to live.

Watching, waiting.
Listening for the words that break me.
Preparing for the raining tears that shed from my eyes.

Sorrow, despair.
I'd rather not see the light.
Spare me, shatter me.

Shatter me like glass.
Into many pieces, just to watch me break.
Spare me, shatter me.
Into something sweet, to the nothing you need.

stephanie_20
07-04-2005, 01:35 PM
Shatter me like glass.
Into many pieces, just to watch me break.
Spare me, shatter me.

This stanza was a bit simple, and crystal tears is now a bit over-used. The first part is used too many times in different ways, I mean, I have read words Identical to that before. And maybe you should tell how he changed, like, what he became. You know what he is, but you don't want to know how he changed. But the reader has no idea what he has become. If we know, then it may make us think, I wonder how he did become that way.

blade_skin_suicide
07-04-2005, 01:50 PM
I agree with Stephanie but it was still good.

xSeptembersxEndingx
07-04-2005, 02:37 PM
Thanks. I'm revising it, because after I posted it. I thought the same thing...

babygurl_Tay
07-04-2005, 03:25 PM
:) Good job! I like it.