This poem holds some extra mystery to dig out besides the message. Find it if you can, come on!


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Flawed (Peculiar Poem Pattern In Free Verse)

-7-
Perfection comes with 7 flaws
Left hand is open
Right hand makes a v-sign
Mona Lisa smiles
-7-

-?-
My 2 eyes
Do not reckon that Mona smiles
3 more peo?ple are looking at Mona
1 with a patched eye
People who have distinct tho?ughts
About her smile
Perfection comes with 7 flaws
Because these 7 eyes
Think wrong
-?-

..!
7 eyes gaze at you in the morning
Fear is your 6th sense
Depression is your 7th
But your Mona Lisa smile hides it all
Your boss has a pole for an eye
To ricochet what he’s given
Your 3 office mates and the boss
Have distinct thoughts
About your smile
All but what you hid
When your left hand was o..!pen
Your right hand made a v-sign
7 eyes thought wrong
Because you cloaked your 7 senses
And tricked 7 eyes
So beauti!..fully
Perfection comes with 7 flaws
!..


-O-
7 days were all The Creator needed
To complete his masterpiece
To complete a perfect week
But perfection comes with 7 flaws
! The Serpent’s tease
! Eve’s fall
! Adam’s recklessness
! The rise of pain
! The envy of Cain
! The first murder
And finally came The Closure
Of The Perfect Cir-O-cle
Of 7 Cardinal Sins
Whereupon
Earth has a pole for an eye
Because all we gave it
Has been ricocheted
To shape into our world today
So beautifully
Perfect
-O-

)))))V
7 people read this piece
With distinct thoughts
Some believe Darwin’s Theory
Some believe The Bi)))))Vg Bang
Some do not believe The Creator
Or the aura of Mona Lisa’s smile
But perfection comes with 7 flaws
My left hand is open
Right hand is making a v-sign
And
I am
Sm(((((Viling
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wow that was too good
good job

Hte -7- Apears to have the flaw of lack of emotion. I am not sure I got the left-hand remark, but tradtionally, the left hand has been used in a negative connotation (I'm left handed, so this is annoying, but oh well) Also, the V sign, is a sign of the vulcans, a totally emotionless, logical species. Mona Lisa's smile was one that wasn't actually genuine, with Da Vinci spending the equivilent of thousands of dollars in an attempt to make her smile.

-?- Da Vinci used a painting trick to smudge around the eyes and the lips of Mono Lisa, so that your mind has to fill in what it thinks is there, giving her a different face to everyone, depending on their opinion.

..! We hide behind out smiles day to day, creating masks of perfection, ones that everyone tries to interpret, while we hide our flaws.

-0- If there is perfection, their must also be deprevity? perhaps drawing on the idea that you cannot have beauty and joy without pain and suffering?

)))))V Perfection is in the eye of the beholder, and what some see as perfect, others can only see the flaws. Every person brings their own ideas to the table about what is perfect, so maybe it is a rehash of the adage "One man's trash is another man's treasure" meaning that true perfection is only a point of view?

I don't know, I may be totally off, but that's what came to my mind, and since my interpritation was that you were saying everyone would see something different, then I guess I'm right >.> Anyway, good stuff as usual Dre, I really enjoyed it.

Yo, Lancelot, I'm left-handed too, brotha. Really, man. I guess that's why we sorta think alike when it comes down to this writing bonanza, right?
Man, now you impressed me flat-footed. I couldn't believe somebody out there would unveil so much, and so accurately, like you did.
90% of the thoughts you revealed are things I wanted the reader to see into. Especially the basic-level feature, which is "Flawed" has 7 typos, and the symbols just stress the idea.

''Hte -7- Apears to have the flaw of lack of emotion. I am not sure I got the left-hand remark, but tradtionally, the left hand has been used in a negative connotation (I'm left handed, so this is annoying, but oh well) Also, the V sign, is a sign of the vulcans, a totally emotionless, logical species. Mona Lisa's smile was one that wasn't actually genuine, with Da Vinci spending the equivilent of thousands of dollars in an attempt to make her smile.''

The part where you outlined the toil spent on the smile is true, so is the left-handed negative taboo stereotype. If you noticed another surface detail, the V-sign with the open hand show 7 fingers. Like you said, the right hand was chosen for the V-sign for the reasons shown above. Man, you're damn quick on the fookin' draw, Lance.

''-?- Da Vinci used a painting trick to smudge around the eyes and the lips of Mono Lisa, so that your mind has to fill in what it thinks is there, giving her a different face to everyone, depending on their opinion.''

This thought is even more accurate, 'cause the whole thing you said gives me place only for confirming, here's my nod, vetty true, geeza.

''..! We hide behind out smiles day to day, creating masks of perfection, ones that everyone tries to interpret, while we hide our flaws.''

SPOT ON. And that's a throwback to the beholder's perfection, all in all the poem revolves around the view of many people, like the ''you,'' the subdued and even the author's, so as to emerge everyone's attention as a part of the piece itself.

''-0- If there is perfection, their must also be deprevity? perhaps drawing on the idea that you cannot have beauty and joy without pain and suffering?''

When I thought up the symbol, I tried to depict the Perfect Circle Of Cardinal Sins shown in the same stanza. However, you simply saw this verse's ''smile'' from a different point of view. Great'un.

)))))V Perfection is in the eye of the beholder, and what some see as perfect, others can only see the flaws. Every person brings their own ideas to the table about what is perfect, so maybe it is a rehash of the adage "One man's trash is another man's treasure" meaning that true perfection is only a point of view?

This is kinda crazy, man, 'cuz you could think of so many other things, but.....you simply hit it right on the money here! Maybe it's because we're left-handed, who knows? This left feels right to me. There's only one more thing to that symbol: V (v-sign), ))))) (5 fingers/open hand). That's also something the stanza stresses.....so, as you could see, the symbols of this poem are stressed within the stanza it represents, so it's easier for the reader to ferret out the meanings.
Thanks a lot, Lance. Ain't nothin' better than sharing thoughts with......a left-handed knight!

It always amazes me how you bring so much impact/history together metaphorically. Certainly makes one read inbetween the lines.

At first I did wonder whether it was to do with hands and Mona Lisa was a smokescreen. But the other flaws were cleverly hidden. As always dre, perfecto, superb.

im sorry and im sure to most that was a great job and i can see where they stand, but i hate this kind of poetry, sorry nothing towards you, i never liked this stuff :happysad:but i did however like probly 40% of this, there are some parts especially i couldve been without but eh, it'll be better than anything ive ever read in that style probly

Righty-ho, Goodguy......yeah, it does hurt on the eyes at first, I know how that feels. I guess it feels like singing November Rain to Ashley under her French Window and gettin' a bucket of water down the head for a reward.......tough, man. As tough as seeing Slash playing for Velvet Revolver and Duffy McKeagan not strummin' the low-slung bass drones for the elusive Chinese Democracy........YIKES!
Thank you, man, your words were really kind.

haha im sorry i really am, i liked most of the lines in it but call me a sucker for standard set ups, i know im a gerk at reviews a lot so jus never mind my words, and ur words were worse than mine :cry: got me right in my heart ;]

Aura-gurl, there's always a place for a coffee lover in Heavens. Bob Dylan would say we're ''knock, knock, knocking on its door".......but we love coffee, 'cuz that's a religion, Bobbie!
Thank you lots'n'lots, I gotta get some more lessons on metaphors with you, though. "Oir, coffee up yer arse, bloody tourists!"

Glad I got it right :-) It was just the first thing that came to mind when I read it. And Vulcans are awesome, so definate Kudo's for using them.

Haha, I just thought of an interesting idea for a pop-culture economic poem with Adam Smith and the CDC (Ferengi (sp)) I bet you he would have a blast talking to Quark >.>

Aura-gurl, there's always a place for a coffee lover in Heavens. Bob Dylan would say we're ''knock, knock, knocking on its door".......but we love coffee, 'cuz that's a religion, Bobbie!
Thank you lots'n'lots, I gotta get some more lessons on metaphors with you, though. "Oir, coffee up yer arse, bloody tourists!"

Uh oh. The joy of more metaphors and extended metaphors :D
Jeesh. I think your brain needs a break, dre! >.> *dreams* Coffee Heaven. :)

Bloody coffee 'eaven down the hatch, Autta Bell! Yeah, I like yer British humour, it's got that Oliver's Twist recipe-flavor to it, which is all good.....oh, d'yer hate Oliver too? So, how come I'm wafflin' on about this? Erm, the only cheesy thing about the UK is Robbie friggin' Williams......oh, I forgot Ozzy's female offspring too........uppity geezas. Now THESE ain't gonna get a leg-up on the fabled Coffee Heaven: 'cuz a boozie bard called Autta-gal would surely kick dem arses back home down the stretch......Luv to the UK, Autta bard.

Hey, Young Mami, thank you. Rock steady.

I guess...I don't get it. I don't know. I feel so uneducated. I wish I was as deep and as good as all of you *tear*. Some day...

maybe...

haha...I doubt it.

But...I'm sure I would think it was good if I understood.

Oliver Twist?
Nah I like Oliver twist. Sneakily captured. Hehe. :) I felt uneducated when I first started interpretating stuff Krissy, so no worries! :) All comes in with practise, delving between the lines, working out the meaning/message.

With Dre's stuff, It's alright if you are confused, it has a lot of raher obscure references. I think the only reason I seem to get it like I do is that I enjoy obscure references. Left-handers usually do. We're not logical enough to complile coherent thoughts, so we make metephors to convey our opinion, and confuse some people along the way.

To Krissy: Hey, girl, I ain't no smartpants, I just write this and that, which doesn't mean I'm something better than anyone. The thing is: some people dig this poetry style, while some others just love the straightforward kind of craft, no frills, such as a punchy-and-dandy rap by Young Mami, who writes jolly well and keeps us coming back for more. Wasn't it for the variety of tastes, literature would be stuck in the rut. However, I do try to make most of my poems, like "Flawed", an enjoyable read: you DON'T need to know much to get the main message. The side-messages are concealed, but right there in case you feel like reading between the lines. So, it boils down mostly to taste and choice, not education. Long life to rap and versatility! All the best, Kris.

To Lance: D'you mean I'm sadistic???? LoL. Lancelot-boy, every now and then you sound like my shrink! Which ain't bad at all, because it seems I've a lot to learn about the left-handed geezas......man, I'm a lefty! Shite. I should've known it, Dr. Phil Shadownite......the moniker sounds groovy, huh? D'yer phil me? Kiddin' yer, always a pleasure reading your thoughts in here, brotha.

I was going after myself as well. And you have to admit that it is fun to stump some people (first time I did it to my prof, I could barely stop laughing.) But lefties use the right side of their brain more, which is their creative/intuitive side. The more you use your right brain, the more your thoughts will appear scatterbrained to those who are not lefties as well. Our logic isn't a point A to B kind, but more like a thoughtweb, with images pulled from connections that logic can barely grasp. Heh, the Left Brain is the physical, the Right Brain is the spiritual, I always say (or do now, as I just wrote it)

As for the poems, the good ones have levels. You can look at the outside and appreciate the beauty, but if you are able, there are those gems to find within.

Right said Dr. Phil Shadownite. Teachers gotta hate him. Lefties gotta luv him.

I think Dr. Lee sound cooler >.> Hey, gotta get used to the pen name sometime, right?

I'm sorry. Maybe I'm just not smart enough or something....except the thing is, I get it. I just think this is crap. But I think MOST poetry is crap because it's people trying too hard to be deep and meaningful.

You're the boss, Damien boy, I'll try gettin' used to the pen name, man. As long as you don't stump me with a cold-hearted quiz grapplin' by my neck.......deal? LoL. That was harsh on yer 'fessor!

No quizes from me. I believe soley in experiential learning. And Shadowknight, or Damien Lee are fine. I just thought Dr. Lee sounded cooler than Dr. Shadowknight >.>

No quizes from me. I believe soley in experiential learning. And Shadowknight, or Damien Lee are fine. I just thought Dr. Lee sounded cooler than Dr. Shadowknight >.>

Hehe. I agree, I think it sounds cooler as well. Though I have no idea why a Sherlock Holmes image came to my head just then :eek:

I was going after myself as well. And you have to admit that it is fun to stump some people (first time I did it to my prof, I could barely stop laughing.) But lefties use the right side of their brain more, which is their creative/intuitive side. The more you use your right brain, the more your thoughts will appear scatterbrained to those who are not lefties as well. Our logic isn't a point A to B kind, but more like a thoughtweb, with images pulled from connections that logic can barely grasp. Heh, the Left Brain is the physical, the Right Brain is the spiritual, I always say (or do now, as I just wrote it)

As for the poems, the good ones have levels. You can look at the outside and appreciate the beauty, but if you are able, there are those gems to find within.

I think you've lost me in this mist. :eek2:
It is rather amusing to stump people, those that do at least attempt to interpretate though. Sometimes too much stuff confuses people. But you've got it right, the right brain is more spiritual. That must be why I see weird stuff, or something that has just moved from my eyesight. I get that feeling quite a lot.
:)
Not that this is relevant.

I love it when poets converse... lol this poem was friggen awesome. Your style is amazing and your allusion is impeccable as always... anyways i love the levels of this poem! awesome

Elementary my dear watson. it's because of the hat. :-P

Elementary my dear watson. it's because of the hat. :-P

Haha. Detective Holmes. Eek. Detective Knight. Suits ya. Well sort of.
>.> Though I'm not too sure what Watson would say. =)

Eh, it didn't do much for me. It just seemed like you were trying to hard to say something in a creative/ weird way; there was no human element to it, no personality. The language was a bit blah, too. It just read in sentences...not too exciting.

Also, I really dislike the Mona Lisa.

Thank you for the comments, Christina. Yeah, I guess ya don't quite dig my lines, but it's all good. After all, a bed of nails might as well be a good place to sleep on, so as to learn how to hone what you have in your hands. I hope I meet your standards one day. I've pretty much to learn from you guys. Peace.

Also, I really dislike the Mona Lisa.

I'm not keen on Mona Lisa either, but this sorta painted it without colours. Everytime I see Mona Lisa, I'm always reminded of my Dentist's sign oustide. Have no idea why, probably beacuse they have a print on it holding a toothbrush and past. Weirdly enough. :eek:

I'm not keen on Mona Lisa either, but this sorta painted it without colours. Everytime I see Mona Lisa, I'm always reminded of my Dentist's sign oustide. Have no idea why, probably beacuse they have a print on it holding a toothbrush and past. Weirdly enough. :eek:When I think Mona Lisa, I get an e-rection...

Something about that woman's artificial curves, sends a tingle down my spine!

When I think Mona Lisa, I get an e-rection...

Something about that woman's artificial curves, sends a tingle down my spine!

>.> :rolleyes:

Hey Aury, I do nude portaits every now and then.
If you're interested, I could include you in my winter spread... Society is dying for a full-figured girl!

jeez loz... men love u... lol

jeez loz... men love u... lol

May God save me. :rolleyes: lol

lol... i promise ill keep my mind strait and ignore my hormonal urges to join them... only for your sake

http://www.teenspot.com/boards/showthread.html?t=198191 <<<<<<<MINES BETTER THEN YOURS lol, im great

May God save me. :rolleyes: lolDon't threat, I like boys.

lol... i promise ill keep my mind strait and ignore my hormonal urges to join them... only for your sake

lmao.Thanks. :rolleyes:
Very helpful :)

A damsel in distress here? I'm a call Meg White, and she's gonna batter a cap in dem macho arses! They don't know. They don't know I had a cup of coffee with you, Autta. No, they don't.

lol i do what i can

Hehe. Macho arses. Well they do now dre, ya just told 'em!