You asked me what I would do
If you made a bad choice.
Would I listen to your reasons?
Or just rip out your voice?
If you started smoking
Or got smashed every night,
You think that I wouldn’t get
You another drink, OR a light.
Well, I’ll tell you what I’d do
I would truely listen to your reasons,
But if you want me to get you a drink, or another light
Think again baby, cuz you ain’t right.

You asked me what I would do
If you thought about death.
You said you’d do anything to die,
And bottle up your last breath.
Would I help you through that mess?
Or would I pack my things and leave
Leave you caught in the darkness, struggling to breathe

You really don’t know me do you?
I know what it’s like to think of death,
To not want to wake up and feel blue.
Yes, I would stay by your side,
I couldn’t leave you in that mess,
Whatever it is I’ll never leave.
Is there anything I could do to help you breathe?

What would I do if you followed through with your plans?
On a rainy Sunday night
You died with clammy hands.
Would I worry about you much
When you didn’t show up for school?
Or just laugh about your leave
“Hey, look, he broke another rule!”

If you followed through with those drastic plans
I would know, don’t know how, I just would.
Then I would worry so much
If you didn’t show up for school.
I would never laugh
Don’t think I ever would.
Because after you left
I left too,
I couldn’t live for even one day,
Without you.

You’ve already done one of those things
The others, close.
You say even though you mess with other girls,
I’m the one you want the most.
So you tell me to push my thoughts aside
And tell you true,
If one of the other two should happen,
What would I do?

I’ll say this only once,
Even though you’ve messed with other girls,
And say I’m the one you want the most.
It’s hard to push my thoughts aside.
But I will tell you true,
If any more of those things should happen,
Know what I’d do?

I’d stand with you through it all,
And let you cry on my shoulder,
But I wont wipe your tears,
Sometimes they just need to be let loose,
And run their natural course.
I would love you through it all,
I will listen to your problems,
Anything you need to say, just let it all out
I’m not a good talker, but, listening there’s no doubt.
I will listen to you and hold you tight,
Ha, I’d even tell you that everything’s all right.
..That Is What I’d Do.


Thanks for the help guys ^_^

this is VERY long!!!! and not very interesting. shorten it up and make it more exciting for the readers.

The only reason it's that long is beacause I wrote it BACK to my boyfriend. He wrote me one asking me all that. I'll see if I can shorten it up a little..

Hey, this was a good piece overall, but it is right that it is long, and length isn't really a problem, the only thing i really see wrong with it is that it is very repetitive..well just work on it a little bit more.

~Ashley

1. Would I listen to your reasons, Or just rip out your voice = These two lines need a question mark on the end, or at least the first one does.

If you started smoking, = comma doesn't need to be there
Or got smashed every night



Here:

This much is true.
But if you want me
To get you drinks, or another light.
Think again baby, cuz you ain’t right.

I think you'll have to re-arrange that or change it if you want a shorter ending to the stanza.
Instead of 'This much is true' perhaps mention the 'truely' in the line before.
Eg. I would truly listen to your reasons'


To get the flow better place it all onto one line: 'But if you want me to get you a drink, or another light.'

If you wanted to break it up into a stanza, then break up the sentance after the comma.
Take out those fullstops in the second stanza, they make the flow abrupt.

Here: If you followed through with those dastardly plans

Maybe drastic will be better.

Otherwise, its quite good.

It seems very juvenile.

It seems very juvenile.
Yeah, well I'm only 14. >.< Thanks anyways..