I'm gonna post this, its still under construction.

Boat of Dreams


A vessel softly passes by the golden shingle
Its passengers are dowsed with eternal dust
You see a finger lazily rubbing away the everyday dirt
Lightly brushing over the many imprinted grooves.

Look closer -
Identify the plum engravings embellished just below the bow
Let the name sink in: Boat of Dreams
Whisper it, focusing on the occupants slumped
Notice the half-empty glasses beside them
They have been drugged.

How could this happen, you allegedly ask yourself?
Then a voice interrupts your thoughts,
“Shame. Such a shame.”

Curiosity overwhelms you
The temptation to know everything is too much.
You wonder, “What’s a shame?”

Echoing words murmur
The question is left unanswered
You become bubbles,
The sea’s salvia
Whisked away from the boat
By the silvery tide
Left with your soul’s wan reflection
Invisible.

The reflection is corrupted
As the bubble cluster channel through,
An army of soapsuds
Caught in the briny folds
Waves drag you further into the unknown.

A smudge appears
Ominously edging closer –
It sweeps into focus,
Steadily becoming clearer.

Your soul tenses
The natural humane instinct forwards the message
And fear graces you with its presence
Completely crushing hope.

kool

>bump< Thanks kug :)

I notice this ones a little different to your usual ones Loz, cool though, its really good how I feel im connected to the poem, I like can read it and imagise my life with the imagery provided, fab job Loz!

Yup it was different Henna. Though I'd try something else. thx :)

Yup it was different Henna. Though I'd try something else. thx :)
Pleasures mine, makes me wonder, I havent been on this board for a while, and I havent posted a poem in a while, do you think anyone would enjoy the new one I wrote with assonance-story telling? you know "Lustre's version of love" for my friend Larry,

I think it could of done just as good without "Look closer -"

The 3rd and 4th santaz made me feel like I was reading a story not a poem. Anyways, you'll have my full review when it comes out in late 2005.

yes ive told AuraBell a MILLION times she has book writing potential! *nudges hard* anyway wow Aura ive noticed that alot of your poems have all a story to them and not to mention they always get interesting and i want to read more but then it ends :( i liked this one a great deal. i feel like AuraBell is changing my taste in poetry. keep writing. this was extraordinary.

A poem that allows everyone to get a different feel from it. I'm not sure exactly what it means to you, but it's very pretty. The descriptions are nice, and the idea is original. I don't want to say anything negative, because I can't think properly assssss offff now. Overall, good job, and I like your poetry.

Kinda....read like a DnD game.

"You walk into a castle, and there are lots of beastly orcs in front of you. What do you want to do?"

A visualisation journey you mean ZK????

A poem that allows everyone to get a different feel from it. I'm not sure exactly what it means to you, but it's very pretty. The descriptions are nice, and the idea is original. I don't want to say anything negative, because I can't think properly assssss offff now. Overall, good job, and I like your poetry.

lol. "to properly asssssssss off. "
I was going for something different, this isn't my normal style. But wondered what the responses were as I have done several works like this, but in prose format.

Arthas : *nudges hard back* I used to do confine my imagination to only do prose works and stories. Or just describing vivid scenes/settings for stories, never letting my imagination wander. Unless of course it was a set topic, then only stick to that topic. Now *sighs* I broaden most of my ideas if I find them good or I try to accomplish concepts or single words which stick in my mind if I think "Ahh thats a good thing to write about". etc (sorry for the waffling lol).


Henna: I reckon they will like the Lustre! I did, even if no one else did :D
I'll check with another reply whilst rereading the work through again tonight. If I get a chance to come online.
(I'm confused with who Alfie is though!! too many names!!!).

Orbb: Was going for a different approach. Ahh well. ;)