really sorry for doing another thread. but I wanted to make sure peoople read it.
1 is the worst 10 is the best.

Stepping out

I stand still
As time presses on
Getting nowhere fast
Where is nowhere?
Quickly falling
Slowto rise
Where is this going?
Stepping out
No hiding
No faking
I've been living in darkness
Forbidden love
Strong hearts and broken walls
Secrets told
I've been betrayed
Walls crumble
Hearts weaken
Everything stops moving
Time presses on

Screaming for you

I want you to hurt.
To feel the pain I felt
Why'd you abandon me
You said you loved me
Your love means nothing now
My silent shrieks of angst haunt you
Never resting
You can't deafen the noise
Please rescue me
It's so cold and I get lonely
I told you not to leave me here
You can't escape me
The sound of my pain echoes in your hardened heart
You're feeling guilty now
You said you're sorry
thats not enough
Are you hurting yet?

I'd say 7 for the first one. 6 for the second. Steadily improving from each work.

i give them both 7's

have u ever considered publishing? i published two of mine in books and about 9 on the internet.