Slit my throat and watch me die
By the hands of the one who made me cry

I'll bleed and bleed drop by drop
I hope the bleeding doesnt stop

This horrible world will blurr awya
And I'll never again see a bad day

That knife i bought will set me free
My tears and blood is all you'll see

Drop by drop my blood drips
But i'll never forget your gentle lips

Do me this one simple thing
And tell everyon i wont answer to my phones ring

Cause i'll finally be happy and finally gone
And to all you ppl who dont agree your wrong

It's my time i need to go
I love you all and that you know :pink:

thats really sad...but extremely well written

thanx :woohoo:

I'm sorry you feel that way. I think this poem isn't very well written... but it could be. Many people on this site seem to think that poetry is about rhyming; it isn't. If poetry is about anything, it is about expressing how you feel through rhythm. Any of the really great poets (Waldon, Shakespeare, Frost) could tell you that it is rhythm that makes their poems truly work, not rhyme. Rhyme does tend to help encourage rhythm and reinforce visuals, as well as make the poem more memorable, but w/out the rhythm... it's just more words. Please consider reworking this piece to have a more consistent beat/rhythm. Using an even number of syllables (like ten) can really make a piece more cohesive. A meter or beat (like Iambic short long, short long) and a consistent number of syllables (like ten) can produce great works (all of Shakespeare's works are in iambic pentameter).

hi
hjkkgvd

^ i agree....but not only did it rhyme it well, it meant something...and thats important

yea i know it's not that good but it's the first poem i've ever written so i figured i'd give it a shot but with that advice maybe my second poem will be better

good. stiff upper lip and give it another shot and all. Rewriting a single poem can be as good or better than writing a million different poems. same with anything really. One reaaaallly good peice is much more important than a million duds.

that poem was good i loved it because it was well written