none of my poems well do good with other people. they just don't like them is it they way i write or what i write about what??? here is one for an example


I see it written out
I don't want to believe it
I read it agian and again
My eyes start to swell
Teardrops rush down my face
What would my life be like
Knowing that you not here to
Help through my toubles
A life without you is just
Not worth living
I see it written out and
I am trying hard not to believe it

Too ordinary
Personify the paper, have it attack you, be creative.
Dont just tell me about your sorrow, make me FEEL it.

ok i will try and i will have a new one up

it is still me i had to change my name

i see it there it is written out
you last will, your killin yourself
my eyes fill with tears as i read it
the tears fall unto the paper
and smug the wirting
i relize that you not going to be here
to help me thruogh anything no more
why did you have to leave
you left me here with no friend
no one who really cares for me
i see it written out, you last will

I dont think it's the words your using, although you could pick up a thesaurus and add more weight to your words, I think it's the rythem of the poem. You know give it a certain amount a sylables. We have to study poems and analyse them for our final english exam, so believe it or not , I actually know what I'm talking about for once