hey this is my poem entitled "Alone" and i hope you like it

Alone

Sometimes I feel like I'm losing something
I guess I am because I'm leavin home
Theres no life for me here
I just cant stand it
I feel so alone...

Tomorrow will never come for me
dont try to stop me
I dont want you to
I've got the blade up to my wrist
should I do it?
I...am...alone

I've made up my mind
its time to say goodbye
with one quick motion
I feel the life draining out of me
Now you are alone...

Before I say goodbye
I see you sobbing on the floor
I take your hand and say
"goodbye..."

good.

deep:69:

Where were the adjectives? I don't think there's more than one. Description enables the reader to connect to your poem. And you were lacking in description. Also, the "..." (we call those ellipses) are overly dramatic. As a wise man once said, "make points with words, not with grammar."

that was so good i liekd it

what is with the suicidal poetry? I totally don't get it. If there is no life for you one place find life elsewhere. Death is not the only answer. There is many things you sould do. However other than the bad critical review, it was preety ok.

thank you for the comments and its not a suicidal poem it was just something i worte when i was in my gothic phase and trying to get attention. I just wanted to clarify that.

i love it..rate mine pls. good job!

it was good but afetr reading urs and xlostandlonleyx's im all depresed and what not *sigh*