-You said you gave it all to me.
[After you never had any at all.]
-You promised me a happy life.
[But Your promises are all lies.]
-You said One day we'll be together, in a land far, far away.
[Until you left me standing here, waiting every day]
-Ill Give you my world my dear.
[Too bad you threw it away]
-Ill lay with you under the stars, until the moonlight fades away.
[the moon has never come, and you just went away.]

The structure with the brackets was interesting, I just didn't enjoy the poem very much. As FiyahKrakah would say, you should try writing it in the third person. That way it won't sound so attention wanting.

It was good you got talent let me see you write a poem asskickery so if ya can't shut that mouth

I have written poems. I'd let you see, but I don't have a web cam. I can write a poem, even if I couldn't I wouldn't shut up because you told me to. Besides, I don't really listen to people who don't believe in punctuation.

I have written poems. I'd let you see, but I don't have a web cam. I can write a poem, even if I couldn't I wouldn't shut up because you told me to. Besides, I don't really listen to people who don't believe in punctuation.


You dont need a web cam to show us your writings..So I highly doubt you can write. And if you can then I highly doubt your any good.

Yes, I do. You said you wanted to see me writing, not see my writing. Go ahead and doubt all you want. I don't mind.

Yes, I do. You said you wanted to see me writing, not see my writing. Go ahead and doubt all you want. I don't mind.

Oh Goodie we have a fuckin CLOWN on our hands. GO back to the damn circusyou ungrateful little fool. YOur sarcasim doesn't mean shit. If you know so much about poetry and about how it should be written then post some of yours. Dont just sit on your lazy ass and critic everyone about what their doing wrong or whatever. It's mindless, irrogant, unintelligent, sarcastic little social terrorist like yourself that makes me wish I could reach through the damn monitor and bitch slap you.

Sure, if you want to call me a clown, go ahead. How am I being ungrateful?

If my sarcasm doesn't mean anything why do you respond to it?

I do post some of mine.

I'm not being lazy, I'm actually accomplishing several things right now.

Mindless? My critiques are thoughtful, unlike yours, which only consist of "I like it. It's the best poem I have ever heard!" Irrogant isn't a word. Unintelligent? I don't think you've read any of posts then. Sarcastic? Definatly. Social terrorist? If you want to see me that way go ahead, but you're the one who's submitting to the 'terrorist.' That fact that I can evoke such emotion out of people like you what makes me a 'legend' around here.

No what makes you a legend is the fact that you being such a fuckin prick to everyone. You obviously dont respect anyone's poetry. I'm not the opnly person who hates you.

And I meant Arrogant

Yes, but my being a prick isn't the only thing contributing. You getting pissed at me for being a prick makes me a legend, because you keep talking about me. I'm like some forum superstar. I'm the forum Idol.

I respect poetry that I think is creative, well thought out and just plain good. Which happens to be nothing that you write.

No, you're not the only person that hates me. Thank you, captain obvious.

Yes, but my being a prick isn't the only thing contributing. You getting pissed at me for being a prick makes me a legend, because you keep talking about me. I'm like some forum superstar. I'm the forum Idol.

I respect poetry that I think is creative, well thought out and just plain good. Which happens to be nothing that you write.

No, you're not the only person that hates me. Thank you, captain obvious.


Superstar? Idol?? Oh please! Nobody even likes you. your more like tha villian. everyone just wished you would jus shut the hell up. Being known for your sarcastic remarks and uninsightful thoughts is NOTHING to be happy about...

Hey, you're the one who's talking about me all the time, like I'm ugly Paris Hilton or something. Uninsightful? You haven't read that many of my posts have you?

Not everyone, I there are some people in here who actually value my comments.

I just think it's funny that you're throwing this big of shit over me. It makes me happy that my comments are so famous, because then people you like get angry and are forced to see the reality of your poetry: that it's not good.