This title came to my mind last night and luckily I remembered it and wrote it down in the first page of my notebook.

Poetic Reconstruction,
Rebuilt the Past...
Retell the Lies...

then after that I wrote this in (which I previously wrote last night also..)

Her face it beckons me,
to conceal my monumental displeasure,
for such a fearful hypocrisy,
I've longed for such a beauty,
without the anguish that comes with the rose,
I've trusted with you my heart and soul,
but you've led me into a flood without a boat,
felt as if we aren't all at flaw,
I must remember the sarcasm that once was,
that you are perfect in all ways,
your insensitive nature is beckoning me away,
you ensured me in this life that all is stable,
you must of lied because I am not at all able..
I could try and lie and say I don't care,
but I'd be lying to myself,
I'm just not prepared to hear what she has to say,
if she feels the same or if I am alone with this face..

Then just now after I wrote that.. I thought of this out of no where.. to write in the empty space below.

"It started when I was seventeen, I lied awake in bed always just thinking, seeing her smile in my eyes... If only I could laugh instead of almost cry, its like I always feel sick, whenever I'm beside her I feel like I'm going to break into a thousand tiny pieces, what is wrong, why do I feel this way, will I never be the same? Or will it all just go away, its hard to think about anything but her voice, its hard for me to pay attention when all I can remember is how much I yearn for her blissful love, just a touch, or maybe its just whats going around, the lovebugs caught me and I can't shake it from being around.."

I wrote half of that while posting this lol, but I was thinking, If I can keep up the ideas, and the poetry, I could create a small book or something, with parts of my life and how I've felt, going from poem to feelings and whatever else.

What are your thoughts.. does this sound stupid.. is it all crap.. should I even bother when I usually never get replies........

Perseverance

A forbidden fruit,
a lucious wonder,
so fearful afraid I've always wandered,
intense this revealing may have felt,
always wondering how it would turn out,
would it be real if I lied,
living in a mistake is only what a fool would try,
fooled as I am, I break to the silence, awake,
I've lived and I've died in this night after being betrayed,
if a feeling could feel so bad it would make you die,
I would of died a few thousand times in this night,
whatever I've read or learned or heard from school,
it doesn't matter what knowledge you possess or try to prove,
nothing can prepare you for such an addiction,
love is not something you add with beer and a foolish prediction,
it won't always be as they say,
whatever anyone has told you,
it will always turn out a different way,
my perseverance is working its way down,
its being buried inside me,
and I feel like I can could never dig it out..


"I've left the winter behind, its been hollow, my heart for quite some time, the glow I once had, the fear I once felt, has left my heart, but so has my soul, where I once felt like I was in heaven, and was never nothing without, where could I have been when this was all happening, laying dead in some ditch or creek? Could it all of just passed me by, just like an insect, or the morning's sky? Has the moon always been full of itself? Am I this dumbfounded without her heart whispering from my mouth? I suppose so, because the moon isn't always full, its almost like it has to breathe, and let it all out, just like all people do.."