SCB
02-18-2004, 02:50 AM
ive been in a very odd mood lately, so forgive me if this is a bit weird...
These are human beings, flesh and blood; I forget that sometimes. These vibrant, exciting pets that call to me with their tight-lipped smiles and starving eyes...they feed me, sating a hunger i only barely understand. Too often, i feast of them unknowingly, releasing myself to an instinct that transcends rational thought, and i forget, for a moment, that they are even human. It is easier for both of us, i suppose, if one of us maintains a facade of indifferance, a businesslike approach to this modern slave trade.
As she sits there, wearing her underwear and pride, oblivious to myself on any level besides my presence, i have to remind myself that she has her own mind, her own thoughts. I have to convince myself that what i am doing is somehow wrong, that there is an inherent evil to my greatest satisfaction. I am not surprised with how often i fail, nor am i ashamed at my own willingness to surrender. Survival is a basic instict, perhaps more ancient than love.
im sure this probably makes little sense, and what sense it does make most likely sucks...but i was kind of zoned out as i wrote it, so its all good. as always, any comments are appreciated.
These are human beings, flesh and blood; I forget that sometimes. These vibrant, exciting pets that call to me with their tight-lipped smiles and starving eyes...they feed me, sating a hunger i only barely understand. Too often, i feast of them unknowingly, releasing myself to an instinct that transcends rational thought, and i forget, for a moment, that they are even human. It is easier for both of us, i suppose, if one of us maintains a facade of indifferance, a businesslike approach to this modern slave trade.
As she sits there, wearing her underwear and pride, oblivious to myself on any level besides my presence, i have to remind myself that she has her own mind, her own thoughts. I have to convince myself that what i am doing is somehow wrong, that there is an inherent evil to my greatest satisfaction. I am not surprised with how often i fail, nor am i ashamed at my own willingness to surrender. Survival is a basic instict, perhaps more ancient than love.
im sure this probably makes little sense, and what sense it does make most likely sucks...but i was kind of zoned out as i wrote it, so its all good. as always, any comments are appreciated.